Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

I am very upset, stressed, on the edge, worried and unhappy

How about that! At least I am aware of it. True problems arise when you feel all of the above and don’t know it. But I know it and I have known it for a few weeks. My rapid cycling has been so bad it’s hard to keep up with it. I just had a sort of argument with my mom. I bought her an Ipod for mother’s day and it didn’t go well. I was so excited- I’m cash only now, so I took a lot of thought about the price and what I wanted to do. I rarely give presents- so this was special. I set up Itunes and downloaded a live album from her favorite singer Jamie Cullum.

When I gave it to her I was so excited. She liked it and listened to it for a while. Then she said, “Can you take this back?” I said, “What?” She said, “I have points on my credit card and I can get one with my points.”

I got SO upset. I just spent money- set it up and made it a surprise and she asks if I can take it back. I know she meant that she could save me the money- but that takes away the spirit of the gift.

It’s my goal in life to remain reasonable. I try not to take out my mood swings on others and I always try to examine my behavior so that I don’t do something to make myself sick. My brain gets tipped into crisis very, very easily. Today I wasn’t able to do it. I said, “It’s disrespectful to receive a gift and then ask the person if they can take it back.” And I ran out of the house crying. My mom is literally my biggest support- so this was even more upsetting.

Now I’m sick and feel worn out. . It wasn’t worth it I guess, but I can only take so much. Unfortunately it was just a combination of being so sick off and on the past week and being disappointed with people. I’m not sure what I’ll do. Life can’t always be tailored so that I can completely manage bipolar disorder. This illness makes it hard for me to get upset and deal with it. I equate getting upset with mood swings- which is what happened today. I have to deal with it!

Julie

Later this evening: My mom called and apologized and explained that all she was thinking about was saving me money. I appreciated her apology. It meant a lot- she realized that I was upset and why- even if she had no intention of hurting me- the apology was still needed. At least I needed it!

Tiffany wrote a comment that anyone would be upset by the situation- and I agree. And most people would be able to talk to their mother without running out of the house crying. What worries me in these situation is when bipolar takes over. I will start crying and will have trouble stopping. I’ll then think that I may never see my mom again and what if this was my last memory. I worry that I will always be sick and overy sensitive. I am sure you see where I’m going here!

My emotions just feel so out of control sometimes. I hate it! Then I remind myself that it’s an illness. I can feel upset and still be ok. One thing is for sure- I get upset a lot less than I used to and for the most part I try to explain to the other person why I’m so over the top with my emotions.

Mothers are so important.

Julie

(thanks for the comment Tiffany- that was nice. )

Bipolar Disorder with no Health Care Insurance: What are my options?

I just received this question via Twitter.  It’s such an important topic, I wanted to give as many tips and resources as possible. These tips are all excellent ideas, even if you do have insurance!

**Hi Julie, Someone I love is battling bp. I really want 2 help her. She can’t afford insurance. We live in NY. Don’t like 2 see her suffer. advice?Here is my reply: No insurance to treat bipolar disorder?  There are ways to get the help you need!

1. Contact your local NAMI or DBSA and see if they resources for local organizations that help those without insurance. Here are their web addresses www.nami.org and www.dbsalliance.org.  If you live in a larger city- there are often branches in your area.
2. Check to see if your state has a low income insurance plan. Often they are full- but if you get on the wait list for the future, there is a chance.  
3. Ask everyone you know if there is a free clinic- low income clinic or a teaching hospital where you can get help. I also suggest calling a hospital psych department- they usually have a lot of information.  
4. Visit www.moodgarden.org for peer support.  There are probably many there who can offer advice.
5. Let your health care professional know you don’t have insurance and ask them about any prescription assistance that may be available to you. You can also research this on your own by visiting www.needymeds.org. Almost all drug companies have drug assistance programs- you can go to their main site for more information. Pharmacies such as in Wal-Mart offer generics for as little as $4. Here is a PDF link to the bipolar disorder medications they cover. It’s a much longer list than you might expect! http://i.walmartimages.com/i/if/hmp/fusion/customer_list.pdf
6. Work as a team.  You both have to learn to manage the triggers that lead to bipolar disorder symptoms.  You can do this through my books, exercising together, working on relationship skills and talking in the most positive and hopeful terms possible. Bipolar disorder is an illness that affects a person’s ability to manage their emotions- the better you two communicate with each other- the less mood swings for your partner! My book Get it Done When You’re Depressed: 50 Strategies for Keeping Your Life on Track is very action oriented- there are many ideas in Get it Done When You’re Depressed that you can use together. My book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: A Four Step Plan for You and Your Loved Ones to Manage the Illness and Create Lasting Stability is oriented towards the person with the illness, but there are many tips for partners in there as well.  Both books are available in stores, online and in the library.
7. Visit the bipolarhappens.com blog at www.bipolarhappens.com/bhblog.  There is a relationships category on the right. I also talk extensively about how to manage the illness throughout the blog.
8. A person’s ability to manage the illness on their own and with the help of others is far, far more important than only relying on medications.
9. Reduce symptoms as much as possible so that you need fewer doctor visits and less  bipolar disorder medications.  I know that when I practice what I teach in my Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder I need less anxiety or anti psychotic meds, etc. Taking care of myself also means I don’t have to rely on my Lamictal (generic Lamotrigine) as much.  You can read about the Health Cards at www.bipolarhappens.com – and yes, there are variable rates for people who need financial help purchasing the treatment plan. 
10. And most importantly, read my book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner.  For the cost of a dinner out, this book will give you all of the tools you need to manage the illness as a couple. Of course, it’s better if you can do it with bipolar disorder medications as well- but I know from experience that this book can cut symptoms by as much as half and it saves relationships as well!  This was one of the top selling bipolar disorder books in the world last year. It’s also available in most US libraries- if not, you can request that they order it. If you go to a book store and read the chapter The Bipolar Conversation- you can learn more in a few minutes on how to manage the illness than you ever thought possible!

 As we all know, the health care insurance system in the US is very broken. This is especially hard for people with bipolar disorder as we need to manage the illness daily. It really is up to us to do all that we can to stay healthy while we look for health care. There is hope and there are a lot of options as you can see. Your partner is very lucky to have you. When you work together, stability and a strong relationship are the rewards!  

Julie Fast

www.juliefast.com

Where Can I Find a Psychiatrist?

I often get letters from people throughout the US asking if I know of psychiatrists in specific areas.

Hi Julie,
Maybe you can help? I’m bipolar and on Medicare trying to get a psychiatrist in the San Jose, CA area and am having a hard time finding someone. Do you happen to know someone in this area? Thank you.
Brent

Hi Brent,

I don’t know of psychiatrists in certain areas- but I do have a suggestion. If there is a teaching hospital in town, I would call and ask to make an appointment with the head of the psych department. It’s not likely you will get in, but they will definitely have great references for other psychiatrists! If there is no teaching hospital- it’s fine to call any hospital and see if they have an outpatient psych program. They will even be able to direct you to private doctors. The Medicare makes it difficult, but if you keep calling, you will find someone!

I also suggest that you look for a psychiatric nurse practitioner. They are an excellent resource and often much easier to find than a psychiatrist. I always suggest that a person get fully diagnosed by a psychiatris and then if possible, move to a psychiatric nurse practitioner for medication management. There are not enough psychiatrist in the US. We often have to find qualified alternatives. In your case, it will probably depend on who will accept medicare.

Good luck. I have been lucky with my health care professionsals and hope the same for you!

Julie