News: I just taught a Seasonal Affective Class here in Portland, Oregon. Well, we sure need to know about SAD! Do you have mood changes when the weather changes? I do.
I gave a presentation to the Pacific University Pharmacy Class on the topic of bipolar disorder, my story and the medications used to treat the illness. Wow. They have to learn so much. I know that I’ve had to call pharmacists when a medicine is giving me trouble. Especially late at night. It’s essential that pharmacy schools spend a lot of time on psychiatric drugs- and I can tell that Pacific University has really made a commitment to helped their students understand what those of us with bipolar go through with all of these meds!
The blog post- Are you manic Julie! Are you Manic! Received a lot of comments, so make sure you look at the bottom of the post and click on the tiny comments tab to read them. Interesting.
Newsletters: I wrote earlier that the weight management newsletter would be out this week… well! That didn’t happen. Work was tough this week. Plenty to do- without the clear and focused mind to do it all. (Sound familiar!) Thus, I have decided to do the holiday newsletter next and then will send out the weight management series. It will happen!
The DUMB holiday ads have already started. Don’t forget that you don’ t have to do anything you think will make you sick- you don’t have to buy presents if you don’t want to and you can plan now for where you will be on the big days that can be so tough if you’re alone. (Or if you’re with family you aren’t too fond of!)
The blog is here to help people tell their stories. Please post comments on what you are going through – people love to read about YOU. Julie
COMMENTS: Many posts have comments from readers. If you go to the bottom of a post- you will see a small ‘comments’ button. When you click on this, you will see all of the comments and can reply yourself. I know for sure that readers go back and see what others have said about their comments. This is a great way for us to help each other. It helps me a lot as well. I want to answer everything- but as you can imagine, doing it on my own is hard- but doing it with all of your help is easy! To the right, there is a section that says recent comments. This is a good place to start to see what’s happening on the blog. Also, you can post a comment on any blog. You don’t have to be a member of the blog. But being a member has advantages as you will then know if someone posts about your post! It is especially helpful to me if you write those in crisis with your advice and support. That makes so much difference. I read all comments before they are posted so the information helps me as well.
NEWSLETTER UPDATE: I will send out a special holiday offer on my books- I only do this once a year! You will receive this if you’ve signed up for the newsletter. You won’t want to miss it, especially if you have not tried the Health Cards. Following that, I will send out my super important newsletter on how we can stay well during the holidays! And finally, I will send out pt. 1 of the newsletter series on medications and weight gain. It will all be here soon!
How are you? I really mean that. If you love someone who won’t get help- how are you coping? If your partner left during a manic episode and now wants to come back, how are YOU doing. If you have to go to court for a loved one, or deal with a daughter who stopped her meds, how are you? And if you have the illness and were just diagnosed… I am so happy you at least have a diagnosis. It’s a positive thing to help you treat an troublesome illness! All sitautions can get better.
Wow, I was going to do a brief post and now you have a tome!
Cherise left a commnent on the blog a few days ago about going to school when you have bipolar disorder. Many people have trouble with bipolar and school! I know I did. It took me eight years to get a degree- it doesn’t matter how we go to school or how long it takes to reach our goals- it just matters that we keep going. Here is Lisa’s excellent advice:
Hi Cherise,
Hang in there with school. I know it is tough. I went to university to become a teacher, and some years were definitely harder than others. I ended up having to drop some courses sometimes, and it took me a couple extra years, but looking back it was worth it.
I think if you can find a balance for yourself that is managable…even if it takes longer, don’t give up. See if there is help from a disability advisor…something I never looked into, but wished I had. I know at many universities here you can get extensions, extra help or have your course load spread over a longer time. I had to take one year off, which the university generally frowns on, but with a doctor’s note that I needed a medical leave it was no problem to drop all my courses and restart the following term. You might have to dig a bit to find what resources are available to you as you have a legitimate medical condition..not “just” a mental illness, and should be able to find help on campus…it just might not be listed in plain sight on their website.
Hope this helps…I wish I could go back in time and follow some of my own advise sometimes…make my university years a lot less stressful than they were.
My mom and I are very close. I see her every day. She and my nephew are the reasons I live in Portland, Oregon. This morning I called her from the place I watch football and asked her to bring me some cash as I forgot mine at home. I told her the story of how I spent five dollars to help a guy with schizophrenia buy some food. He got a grapefruit, a lime, a small pear and some espresso bean chocolate.
After I told her this, she said, “Are you manic Julie! You do this when you’re manic!” I said, “AM I MANIC!” and she said, “You always say you’re not manic when you’re manic.” I got very upset. Not because of what she was saying. We use my Health Cards treatment plan together and she is always supposed to tell me when she thinks I’m manic. I got upset because I am very far from manic. For the past few days I’ve been profoundly depressed. I was up for a few days than a few of semi stability and then I felt the depression creeping in. So I did what I always do- I get out the ideas in Get it Done When You’re Depressed and I use them. All day- every minute of the day. This means it’s hard for people to tell I’m depressed. I believe in acting as if I am well and getting on with my life.
My mom is my greatest support, but I simply can’t burden her with this illness all of the time. I keep a lot from her- because telling her that I’m depressed and worried and having trouble working is pointless- because I am in that mood off and on for a large portion of my days. I just work through it. I have other people to talk to. But overall, I believe that it’s up to me to use my management plan so that I can have normal relationships- and I have succeeded in this and it’s hard.
I said to my mom, “I know you are helping me and I know you see the signs of mania- but what you are actually seeing is my trying hard not to let the depression take over my day. I’m going to get out of this today and have a good day- so I am cheerful and active. That is how I get better. :
She said, “But you have to tell me when you’re sick- I want to know. How can I know how to help you if you don’t tell me how depressed you are? ”
I said, “Because what helps me the most is going to your house and seeing the beautiful backyard and Cookie and hanging out. That is what helps me.”
So, dear readers. As you can see- this is hard on all sides. But I stick to my plan of always doing my best to manage this illness first and then asking for help when I need it. Otherwise, I would overwhelm too many people. It’s a balance. I think she understands.
Right now I am doing well. I am watching football and the weather is nice. I may even see my brother this afternoon. I believe I am the keeper of my wellness if that makes sense. My motto is treat bipolar first, and then I can go out into the world and get help when I need it! This is how I get so much done and have a life that is not always controlled by bipolar disorder. It is possible.
I just answered all of my new blog posts and the comments didn’t go through! Luckily, I’m not in an irritated down swing today- but I apologize if it seems like I’m not in contact- I am! It’s also good to post on my facebook wall. It’s time for me to get in there and start talking with everyone !Julie
Hello readers. I just received this email from Cherise. I answered below and know she could use your support as well. How do you handle wanting to do something such as working or going to school full time, but always having to manage the illness first? Here is her post.
Hello Julie,
I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 for about 7 years. I have struggled with depression and OCD since about 14. I’m 44 and cycle about every 2 months even though I have tried every medication regimen possible. Now I am on Lamictal, which seems to have the fewest side effects and works most of the time. Right now I am in a downward spiral; my thought are obsessive, I’m borderline suicidal and having nightmares. I hope this lifts soon. I’m a high acheiver and got my nursing degree (RN), but I lost my license, because I got very depressed on the unit one day. Although I told the nurse manager I was not feeling well and to please have someone watch my patients; she turned me in to the State Board of Nursing. I have never forgiven myself for this; this was right before I was diagnosed and on medications. The world is so unforgiving to people with mental illness! Right now, I am back in school, trying to become a pharmacist, but my stress level is through the roof and I am not sure I should be doing this? The stress of school, financial problems and marriage problems are probably what is making me cycle? I do not know what to do. My goal is to get off of SSD, and make something of myself again. I feel stuck and I want out, what should I do?
Hi Cherise,
You are in a complicated situation- but not uncommon. It’s essential that the bipolar calm down before you can work in the way you know you could if you were not ill. I face this daily. You have to ask yourself what is best for your stability and then go from there. Work or school that makes you more ill will always be difficult. Do you have a management plan outside of the Lamictal?
A plan is essential for all people with bipolar. You don’t have to do everything at once. Going to school part time- working part time or taking time off to get better is a better option that wearing yourself out. I agree that those of us with bipolar disorder are looked at differently- but once you prove that you are a stable and dependable worker, people will be more accepting. I just spoke to a group of pharmacy students on the topic of bipolar disorder- and I saw how much work they have every day. I know that my bipolar disorder could not handle this stress. Thus, you have to ask yourself if pharmacy school is the best choice right now. You can think of the future once the illness is more managed. I do sound like a broken record- because this is the reality of bipolar disorder. In order to work and have a life and not be overly stressed every minute of the day- somehow, someway the bipolar has to be managed- and this often means a person has to do less, even though they are capable of so much more! Julie
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Mom Brain Podcast
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