Ally Johnson wrote the book Waking Up in the Middle of Nowhere about how she and her husband have created a relationship that works around his bipolar disorder. As we all know, it’s not easy. She has a strong spiritual faith, so I asked her for a post that explains how this helps their relationship and especially how it helps her be a partner of someone with the ilness.
Here is her post:
Bipolar and the Holidays
The holidays are upon us… some of us find ourselves rejoicing right along with the Christmas Carols we hear on the radio, others completely relate to Mr. Scrooge and want to slam our doors and count the days until the season is finished. Because I am married to someone who is bipolar I can relate to the joy and the sadness that the holiday seasons often brings.
As I reflect on my husband’s recovery process despite the ups and downs that his illness brought, especially before his treatment was figured out, I find that making a conscious effort to unhinge myself from the roller coaster ride, and instead set my mind and vision on making the holidays special. This turns out to be as important to my husband and children as it is to me.
When he was ill we spent many years far from family and alone. I tried to establish family traditions for our children because I wanted them to know what Christmas was like without the added ingredient of illness and because it helped me find my own joy during the season. With as unpredictable as bipolar can be, having set traditions helped me feel like I had my own sense of balance. They were things I and my children could count on regardless of what my husband’s state of mind was.
We attend church throughout the year but make a certain effort to go on Christmas Eve, we always bake cookies to share with our neighbors spreading what we call “Christmas Cheer” and we usually decorate our Christmas tree over Thanksgiving weekend. The key is to focus on what brings joy to me or to anyone in the family and then we find ways to spread it.
Thankfully with my husband’s recovery we now have the blessing of fellowship with extended family that we missed before. We still choose wisely who we spend time with and limit contact with those who add stress or dissent. We’ve learned to say “No” when we need to and “Yes” when we want to. We are choosy, especially during the holidays. Not because we don’t want to throw caution to the wind but because we know that we do best when we hold to the traditions and routines that helped us navigate when he was ill.
Ally
Thanks to Ally for her post. As you may know, spirituality is something I struggle with constantly. I find it hard to be spiritual about anything when I’m often so ill. This is why I want the voice of those who are spiritual to be on this site. It takes all perspectives! Here is some more information on her work and her book:
Allison Johnson’s first book, “Waking Up in the Middle of Nowhere” chronicles the journey she and her husband took once they discovered his bipolar and shares how they came together to restore their marriage and their daily lives after his diagnosis. It’s available on Amazon.com or your local bookstore. She cares deeply about Christian women’s issues which she addresses through her speaking and writing ministry.
This is a fabulous book cover isn't it!
