Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

If you had asked me this last year, I would have skirted the question. I had been so depressed for so long I no longer told people the truth. I focused on what I could do despite the depression. I could work part time- do a great job as a coach,  have fun with friends, love my family, walk, eat, sometimes sleep and do all that I could to keep myself alive while helping others do the same.

My life has changed 100%. 

The truth is that I was only half alive- because half was managing this illness. No matter how succcessful I was- how many books I wrote or how many friends I had-  it took so much effort to stay alive.

I found a new medication regime last year that gave me a LIFE. When I combined this with all of my management strategies, I felt whole for the first time in over five years.

Can a person have a life free from depression?  Yes- as long as we all understand that free means we can be free the majority of the time. My depression is never gone- I keep it at bay.  I still get down- but it isn’t so dangerous.

How did I know I was really doing better? A few days ago I went into my mom’s back yard- sat down and read a book.  It had been five years or more since I was able to do this!

You can get better.  The person you love can get better. It takes a plan and that plan usually includes meds. 

Julie

I’ve written a lot about Lamictal and Generic Lamictal (Lamotrigine) the past few months. This is the drug I take as do many other people with bipolar disorder. One reader commented that she couldn’t sleep when she was on Lamictal. That was a side effect I had not heard. Other people have had the same problem- here is a comment from a reader:

Hi Julie,

It took nine months before I could sleep without some sleep aid. Low doses of Zyprexa or levomepromazin helped.

Lena

Hi Lena,

A friend of mine has had trouble sleeping and her doctor suggested that she use a small dose of Zyprexa. She knows it will work, but she’s scared to feel like a zombie again. She just started a new job. It’s frustrating for her. Others use the Zyprexa with great success. She has to find something that will work for her.

I wasn’t familiar with the other drug you mentioned, so I looked it up.

Levomepromazin is an anti psychotic that has strong sedative effects. I can see how it would work like Zyprexa in terms of sleep. Currently, Levomepromazine is not registered in the USA. In Europe it has been marketed for decades as Neurocil® and Nozinan®.

Nozinan® is also available in Canada.

I also read that it has a lot of side effects in high doses which may be why it’s not used as an anti psychotic in the US. Or, of course, it could just be something economic!

Severe sleep problems are really dangerous for people with bipolar disorder, so if you’re having trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor and get more information. Also, make sure your sleep problems are not a result of mania!

Some drugs, like Lamictal produce such unbelievable relief- people are willing to stay on then despite the side effects.  Sometimes the side effects are just too strong. It depends on the person. The good news is that side effects often get a lot better if you can make it through the first three to six months.
Julie

Suicidal thoughts are normal when you have bipolar disorder.

I remember driving one day when I was very stressed and unhappy. I was on a busy road and saw a red light up ahead. My mind said, “Julie, you can just run that red light and a car will hit you and all will be taken care of!” These thoughts used to scare me a lot. I now know they’re a response to stress. When I told my friend Lani this story she said, “Well, your brain thought is was helping!”

So true. These thoughts are not real. They are manufactured by a bipolar brain. Don’t believe them.

If you are suicidal right now, you have options other than killing yourself.

#1 Say to yourself: I have bipolar disorder and suicidal thoughts are normal. Say it over and over again until you get help.

#2 Call anyone and do anything to get help and be honest when you talk to someone. “I’m suicidal and I need help.” You can walk directly to an ER and do this. Crisis lines are there to help. They know what they are doing. Call a friend.

#3 Don’t worry if you’re embarrassed. Better embarrassed than no longer on the planet.

When I’m suicidal, it’s always a sign that my meds are not working or that an event has happened to send me over the edge. I try to focus on fixing those things instead of listening to the suicidal thoughts. These suicidal thoughts are often the result of something you can definitely change. Once it is changed, you can get back to baseline. If you kill yourself over an event it’s not effective. It’s more effective to deal with the situation or leave it completely.

There are definitely situations where the bipolar is 100% responsible for the suicidal thoughts. Nothing has happened and there is no reason you should be so miserable. These suicidal thoughts have to be taken very seriously as your brain is really malfunctioning. This is when medications are 100% essential. Don’t hesitate to take meds.

Keeping yourself alive is all that matters when you’re suicidal. If you can’t do this for yourself-turn yourself over to someone who can.

Remember: No one stays suicidal all of the time. It ends.

If you had brain cancer you would ask for help with ease. Asking for help with suicidal bipolar thoughts is no different.

Julie

PS: I had my first suicidal episode at 19. I am now 48. It can be managed.