I have been quite sick since coming off Sequel. Coming off a medication of any kind can be a trying experience. )Always do it with the help of a professional.) I started Seroquel when my paranoia was getting in the way of a new part time job.
Oh how I wish I could tolerate more psych meds. I had a good experience with Sequel for two weeks and then the side effects took over. Not everyone has this experience. A former psychiatrist of mine called me Julie, the Side Effect Queen.
Please know that what you read online about meds is only information for you to digest and then apply to your own life. Bipolar as an illness is the same for all of us all over the world.
We CAN make generalizations about bipolar symptoms. It’s completely different with the meds used to treat bipolar.
Bipolar meds are an individual experience. It’s not collective. It’s not what happens to someone else will happen to you.
It’s up to you to test psych meds in your body and find out what works for you. This is one reason I get so very, very upset with organizations that are anti medications. If medications were the same for each person, I could see how one organization could take a particular stance. But meds are not the same for everyone.
Most people tell stories online when something goes wrong. This creates a very biased look at the situation. People who can take psych meds- those who have a plan that works- are getting on with life. They are not on the chat boards or asking for help. So, the info is skewed.
When my clients use my plan and it works, they get on with life. Their children go back to school and have a job and a family. They are not in trouble with the police or looking up conspiracy theories online instead of taking care of their housework. They are well and they don’t write about it.
Why I Take Bipolar Medications
I have a medication I use that keeps me out of 24 hour suicidal depression. It is not a med that works for everyone. I know people who have been on lithium for 30 years with no side effects or kidney problems. You don’t hear about them as they are doing well and don’t feel the need to write about all that is happening in life as they are too busy leading their life.
Try psych meds. That is my message. Try them in a low dose and go from there. They are part of a management plan. They go with what I write about in my books. They are NOT the first line of treatment for bipolar. Symptom management through learning about your triggers and making lifestyle changes is what comes first.
Then, you use meds for what is left that you can’t take care of on your own.
My paranoia was making it impossible for me to sleep. So I tried Serqouel. It worked very well. I am not paranoid now. Yes, I then had a lot of side effects, but this doesn’t mean the medication is bad. It means I can’t tolerate it.
When you read stories online always remember that it’s easier to write about the bad than the good. When things are good, we are not spending all day online.
I now know that I can’t tolerate daily use of Seroquel, but I can take it as needed if the paranoia is raging. I also use lithium orotate as needed for mania.
Just answered a question on my BP Magazine for Bipolar blog about the differences between #bipolar and #borderline regarding triggers. The person asking had the idea that bipolar is not a triggered illness while borderline is. Here is a brief clarification:
Bipolar disorder is an ancient and genetic illness that affects a person’s ability to regulate the mood. It is not related to childhood events. It is not a trauma illness. It is also very episodic. When a person with bipolar is not manic or depressed, the mood is stable.
Borderline is a personality disorder with symptoms that are consistent over time. The cause is up for debate. For the majority of people, borderline is trauma based.
Bipolar and borderline are not related as illnesses.
What about triggers?
Bipolar is absolutely triggered by outside events. My book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder has a chapter on the topic. We have many different ways to get sick with this illness. It really can come out of nowhere- life is fine and boom, we get sick. This is what I call the rogue mood swing. But the majority of our moods swings are triggered. This is a positive as it means we can manage the illness by managing our triggers.
Borderline is usually triggered by relationship or life events. It is much more related to interpersonal relationships than bipolar disorder.
Only bipolar has mania. Borderline never has mania.
Julie
PS: I chose this pictures as it represents how bipolar and borderline might look the same, but they are actually very different illnesses.
I will do anything to increase my ability to focus- well, let me modify that statement. I will do anything natural to help me increase my ability to focus. I can’t take medications for ADD symptoms as they cause mania. I can’t take memory medications as they also cause mood swings. But I can focus on natural treatments.
Most people with bipolar struggle with brain fog at some time during a depression. Even when we are manic, the focus is not always productive as it can be very scattered. We need help with attention and focus problems so that we can work and be productive in life.
My goal is simple. I want to work. I want to sit down with a set of tasks and systematically get them done. To do this, I have to get help from people who have skills that can help me on my path. I feel lucky that I found Scott Duvall of PDX Hypnotherapy. I originally contacted him for help with weight loss. That part of our work together is ongoing and I will write more about this soon. For now, I want to discuss the results I had using hypnotherapy for focus and attention.
Working with someone who understands the bipolar brain is essential. Natural treatments can make us more ill if the practitioner is not well versed in what it means to have bipolar and how any changes in our lives can lead to mood swings. I was very impressed with Scott’s knowledge of the illness. He made sure I was working with a doctor before he would work with me. This was the professional security I needed. I can’t turn this brain over to anyone!
Hypnotherapy Help for Focus
I had an immediate change in focus after one talking session and one hypnotherapy session with Scott. I went from panic attacks and all kinds of anxiety around work, to sitting down and opening my computer with more ease. It has not been easy, but the results are worth it.
I still struggle due to my mental health and brain injury challenges, but I was able to increase my work load by at least 50% after working with Scott. That is not a typo. I really had quite amazing results. I still listen to our hypnotherapy session when I need a boost to my productivity. My struggles are not over. When you have bipolar and a brain injury as I do, continual help is needed. I fell very lucky that I found Scott Duvall. He is gentle and safe for people with mental health disorders.
I highly recommend hypnotherapy for any focus related struggles including ADD and head injuries. We can change the way our brains work and the way we work as a result.But it takes work on my part as well.I made sure I put myself in a place I could work and can say I went from crying in front of the computer from stress to opening it and getting to work. I still struggle. I still struggle as a person with bipolar and a head injury, but our session changed everything in terms of the anxiety I felt around work.I owe him so much for taking me seriously and asking the right questions during our session.
If you are in the Portland, Oregon area or you would like to work with Scott virtually, please call
I’ve had mood swings while sleeping where I can tell that my eyes are closed and that I’m dreaming, but the symptoms of the day are still present even though my brain has supposedly gone into a different state. I’ve experienced panic attacks during a nap and have been so suicidal I’ve rolled in a ball promising the people around me that I would NOT kill myself. This is my bipolar reality. I want to be honest about what I experience so that you will not have to feel alone if it happens to you as well.
We have a mental illness. This is our reality. It doesn’t matter what we call it. It doesn’t even matter if we deny we have it. The reality of our mood swings are there for all to see. I often experience depression, anxiety, mania and psychosis in the same day. I keep a lot of this to myself and I know what to do for help, but reality is reality. My brain is not my friend.
You are not alone if you haven’t found a magic pill that takes away the mood swings. You are not alone if you struggle in school and work. You are not alone if this illness profoundly affects your relationships. You can’t put lipstick on a piggy wiggy and you can’t perfume dog poop. Sorry to be so crude. But bipolar is bipolar no matter how much we try to talk about it positively. Despite all of this, I am still an incredibly positive person and I’m hoping you an also find a way to love life, despite the pain caused by this illness.
Why am I being so honest? It is how I survive. If I buy in to the idea that this illness is easy to treat and that one day I’m going to magically be better, I will be upset every time I get sick. I’m a realist and this helps me move forward in life despite my mood swings.
When I look in the mirror and remind myself, “Julie, you have a genetic mental health disorder that affects your ability to manage you moods. It’s normal for you to have mood swings,”, it clears the brain for getting help.
Denial, refusal to accept my limitations, thinking I will wake up one day and my brain will have righted itself and listening to people who say that mental illness is a sham or shameful takes up valuable time and brain space that I need for my management plan.
All of this involves having a plan in place I can use when the moods start raging. I need specific strategies in place for staying alive when the suicide shows up simply because someone writes something rotten about one of my blogs. I need the space to put something in my brain that is going to help from medications to meditation and supportive friends to exercise and having fun. Managing this illness has to be my job or I will not be able to reach any of my goals.
People often ask if the illness gets worse as you get older. There is no evidence for this, but I can tell you that it gets harder to manage as your body changes and life gets more crowded. When you’re 20 and don’t have as many worries, the illness may be the same, but it will affect your life incredibly differently when you are 40 and have kids and a mortgage, or you have lost this part of your life due to illness and you are no rebuilding.
My attitude is one of realistic positivity. If I know what I’m up against, I can be ready for the mood swings when they inevitably appear. I’m going on year 22 of my diagnosis and year 37 since my first symptoms. I am ready for this illness. Life now has far more good moments than bad. I remain fascinated with my own brain. I remain vigilant and kind to myself when I get sick. This is illness. It’s not emotional instability. It’s not a personal choice and it’s not something created by my childhood. It’s genetic, it’s strong and I have to be ready for what it throws at me, even if I’m sleeping. I am up to the task and I know you can be as well. When my bipolar disorder gets really bad and I feel I am too sick to function, I know that I am going to be ok because I have a plan. It’s an illness. I am strong and you are too.
A Book Review of a Kati Rocky’s YA book about bipolar disorder by a teen reader who has bipolar disorder in his family.
To Pieces by Kati Rocky is a Great Book to Help People Understand Bipolar Disorder, Especially for Teenagers.
by David Fast
David Fast is 16 and goes to high school in Portland, Oregon. He grew up learning about bipolar disorder from his aunt, the bipolar disorder author Julie A. Fast. The following is his review of the book To Pieces by Kati Rocky.
‘To Pieces’, a novel by Kati Rocky offers an amazing view into the mind of someone with bipolar disorder. The book is from the perspective of a teen girl named Jane who seems to have a normal, average life. This all changes when one day she goes into a downswing, making her depressed. Her sister makes her get help from a psychiatrist and she takes antidepressants. She then has a full on manic episode and needs extreme help.
This book is a good reading opportunity for those who want to understand bipolar, to know what it is like from the inside of someone with the disorder. Rothy gives us the thoughts of Jane, when she is in different mood swings and stable, with vivid examples of how different someone can be from their “true self” as Jane thinks. Jane experiences downswings, upswings, risks from certain medications, hospitalization, recovery, and tells the reader how these unfortunate but all too real situations affect her own personal life. Through the mind of Jane, people without bipolar can better understand, and those with bipolar can better understand themselves. ‘To Pieces’ is a great bipolar book, especially for teens.
A note from Julie A. Fast. I recently interviewed Kati about To Pieces. I will write more about her work in the future. Please contact David on Instagram @NorthwestOutlaw and let him know that you enjoyed his review. We starting talking about my bipolar disorder when he was four years old. He is not scared of the illness and we often talk about the signs he needs to look for in himself as he gets older. If he says that To Pieces is a realistic depiction of a teen with bipolar, I believe him! I see him as an expert on the topic. Below is a question from my interview with Kati. I promise to add more soon.
Kati, Have you heard from kids with bipolar who have read the book?
I have heard from kids – and adults – who have bipolar disorder and they have unanimously told me that they found Jane and her experience one hundred percent authentic and realistic. One reader told me that he got goosebumps during some of the portions of the book because it reminded him so much of his experiences. Another reader told me that she had to take a break from the depression section of the book and come back to it because it was digging up memories that were painful for her. There was a fifteen-year-old girl who told me that even though she doesn’t have bipolar disorder she felt close to Jane. She is on medication for a severe anxiety disorder and this gave her a lot of perspective into Jane and into some of the situations she got herself into.
Check back to the blog for my interview with Kati Rocky. You can visit her on Twitter @KatiRocky.
Well, we certainly don’t bounce back. We crawl back into the world on our hand and knees. Then we stand a bit and finally we can walk again. A metaphor of course, but you know what I mean!
I am getting over a week of rapid cycling caused by a medication. The medication was working, so it’s sad that the side effects were too much for me to handle.
There are mood swings and body twitches to deal with, but I will survive.
When you get sick, it’s as though your body has run a marathon. You must give yourself time to get better. You won’t want to do this. You want to just get back to life.
It doesn’t work that way. The body needs what it needs. Be nice to yourself. Rest, but not too much. Move the body. Remind yourself that you are going to be ok.
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Mom Brain Podcast
Listen to Julie’s latest interview on bipolar disorder and mental health in children, teens and adults on the Mom Brain Podcast with Hilaria Baldwin and Daphne Oz.
The health information contained herein is provided for general education purposes only. This site should not be seen as a substitute for an official diagnosis or for professional health care.
