Bipolar Disorder and Work: I’ve got to get my act together!
For the past few weeks, I was pretty ill so I didn’t get as much done as I would have liked. Now that I’m better, I have to get my act together and create a schedule I have to follow. Today is Saturday and I’ve been floating again. I so wish I had an office to go to! Restaurants and coffee shops work when I have a specific deadline, but when the deadline is internal, I have trouble. I am watching the Super Bowl tomorrow so that day is planned. I now have to plan next week so that I have to be at certain places at certain times.
This has always been a problem. If you go to work at a certain time and come home a certain time, would you like to change places!!!! I want someone looking over my shoulder saying, “All right Julie! Get going!” I know that I have to do this for myself.
My book Get it Done When You’re Depressed has a strategy called Structure You Day Like a Child’s. It refers to the fact that children have a plan from morning to evening. I need that as well!
Wow, thanks so much for the nice comments. It has definitely been a tough week. I made it to all of my appointments- saw all of the people I said I would see and basically kept functioning, but work definitely suffered. I started with the correct meds two days ago and I’m already feeling better.
I receive a lot of blog comments with questions. Please feel free to offer tips to the person asking the question as I think that we all have ideas on what can help manage this illness- and advice for those we care about people with the illness! I will answer all I can in the next week.
I will be back in action soon. I know the new meds will really help. I have a book proposal due, lots of email to answer and an article to write for BP Magazine. I have to get myself in gear!
julie
PS: If you are new to this blog, you can start at the bottom and read up- I started to get sick about a month ago and couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I finally realized it was my generic Lamictal and I switched back to the regular stuff and am doing a lot better! It’s important to note that most people do fine with generics- some of us don’t!
Hi to all of you who have written such nice notes. It’s true, I have definitely been sick. Once I figured out it was a medication problem, I took action. It’s hard to take action when you’re crying and feel like you can’t go on- but that’s just the illness. I am much, much better today. My Health Cards tell me when to do when I have bad mood swings and my family knows how to use them as well. We are so used to the system as we have used it for eight years! Where does the time go!
I will write more later today on what happened. I am so thankful I know how to manage bipolar disorder, but it’s still shocking that it can sneak up on me so quickly!
If you read my blog below, you can tell I’ve really had trouble lately in terms of getting my work done. I always have struggles, but I use the ideas in my books and just keep going. When it’s hard for me to even sit down, then I know something is not right physically.
My friend Sherri called last night and said, “Are you ok! I just read your blog and I’m worried about you!”
Hmm.. I didn’t mean to sound that bad! But it has been pretty bad. I have many ways to figure out what is wrong when I’m having mood swings- the first is to check the triggers. I know that troublesome relationships cause me a lot of trouble- which leads to mood swings- book deadlines that are too intense can also make me quite ill, but I always keep working.
This time, nothing is going on. There are no triggers. Yes, I have a book proposal I must finish, but it’s not really a trigger. So, if there are not triggers but I’m still having a lot of trouble focusing, I feel slightly out of touch with things and I’m tired, it has to be meds- on other words- the generic Lamictal.
Now that I have the answer, I can focus on the meds instead of calling myself LAZY!
I will keep everyone posted on what I do. I have a few actions I have to take today.
2012: Blogs are interesting – if you read old posts it’s easy to see patterns that were absolutely unclear at the time. I had a terrifically difficult time with generic Lamictal (Lamotrigine). It took me a long time to figure out the problem, but reading this makes it pretty clear what was happening. Interesting. What about you? Can you look back on situations and see what was a medication problem or a bipolar problem- and yet you couldn’t see it at the time? Oh yes, I can do that a lot. Here is the post from 2009.
I’m really struggling today. I swear I would do anything just to get rid of these constant mood swings. I have friends with bipolar disorder who have a lot of normal days- by normal I mean that they aren’t in some kind of mood swing. I rarely have a normal day. Today seems to be a mixture of mild depression, worry, lack of focus and a definite concern that my meds aren’t working correctly. I have a big writing project due and it feels like climbing Mt. Everest even though I only need a few more days to get it done.
Every day since I came back from a trip to Texas and Florida has been difficult. Not it a bad way- in other words I didn’t have a terrible depression when I got back- but there is always something to deal with. I just feel physically uncomfortable and can’t seem to find a good place to sit down and write.
I wrote Get it Done When You’re Depressed to deal with times like these. I use the tips daily- right now I’m ‘working with a friend.’ I traveled south to Eugene, Oregon to see a writer friend of mine who also has bipolar disorder. So she understands me! She writes her own books and also edits manuscripts. She’s very good- and she struggles the same way I do. These darn mood swings really affect our ability to work the way we want to.
So, I’m struggling today- that doesn’t mean I have to struggle tonight. It’s 4:30 PM and it’s starting to get dark. I know that I will feel so much better if I get work done- and if I have a plan ready for tomorrow. I constantly remind myself that this is an illness. I have no desire to be depressed and restless- it’s an illness. I can get better and I always do!
Julie
PS: I finally realized what was going on and switched back to Lamictal. It was a tough time.
Here is a picture that really defines restlessness! 😉
Yes, our economy stinks. It has affected my business greatly- and not in a good way- and it has possibly affected you similarly.
I was very freaked out at first. A friend of mine lost her job and many friends lost a lot of their retirement. Eventually I realized that worrying was not helping me. I now choose to see this situation as a challenge to myself intellectually and emotionally instead of something awful. This is when I can get very creative and focused on my goals. What can I do to turn this around in my life? What can I do to create business elsewhere? What do I need to change?
People are spending less- that is actually a good thing for this country in the long term. It has made me look at my spending. What can I do now to protect myself from this when it happens in the future? Etc.
We don’t need money stress when it comes to bipolar disorder- but the news can make things seem much more terrible than they are. Yes, people are losing jobs and a large part of their 401Ks and other investments- but many are seeing this as a time to change.
A friend of mine worked in the mortgage industry- (yikes!) – when she was laid off, it was terrible at first and then a blessing. She is on unemployment and can now choose a career path she actually likes! She is in a much better mood too.
Another friend of mine, who is 62 lost a significant part of her savings, she said, “After I cried, I realized that this was the time to finally write the book I have been talking about for years!” We worked together and she sent in her book proposal last week! No kidding!
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