2012: Blogs are interesting – if you read old posts it’s easy to see patterns that were absolutely unclear at the time. I had a terrifically difficult time with generic Lamictal (Lamotrigine). It took me a long time to figure out the problem, but reading this makes it pretty clear what was happening. Interesting. What about you? Can you look back on situations and see what was a medication problem or a bipolar problem- and yet you couldn’t see it at the time? Oh yes, I can do that a lot. Here is the post from 2009.
I’m really struggling today. I swear I would do anything just to get rid of these constant mood swings. I have friends with bipolar disorder who have a lot of normal days- by normal I mean that they aren’t in some kind of mood swing. I rarely have a normal day. Today seems to be a mixture of mild depression, worry, lack of focus and a definite concern that my meds aren’t working correctly. I have a big writing project due and it feels like climbing Mt. Everest even though I only need a few more days to get it done.
Every day since I came back from a trip to Texas and Florida has been difficult. Not it a bad way- in other words I didn’t have a terrible depression when I got back- but there is always something to deal with. I just feel physically uncomfortable and can’t seem to find a good place to sit down and write.
I wrote Get it Done When You’re Depressed to deal with times like these. I use the tips daily- right now I’m ‘working with a friend.’ I traveled south to Eugene, Oregon to see a writer friend of mine who also has bipolar disorder. So she understands me! She writes her own books and also edits manuscripts. She’s very good- and she struggles the same way I do. These darn mood swings really affect our ability to work the way we want to.
So, I’m struggling today- that doesn’t mean I have to struggle tonight. It’s 4:30 PM and it’s starting to get dark. I know that I will feel so much better if I get work done- and if I have a plan ready for tomorrow. I constantly remind myself that this is an illness. I have no desire to be depressed and restless- it’s an illness. I can get better and I always do!
Julie
PS: I finally realized what was going on and switched back to Lamictal. It was a tough time.
Here is a picture that really defines restlessness! 😉
Thanks for all your help and advice. I am sure that you have helped many people you are not even aware of. I work outside, so one of the best pieces of advice that I have gotten from you is about wearing sunglasses. Especially when I feel hypomania coming on, and all stimuli seem more intense than normal.
Wishing you the best of health Julie.
Thank you! It’s odd that sunlight can have that much of an effect. It’s true though. Mania peaks in the summer and goes down in the winter. In North America of course! Julie
Julie — My son has been treated for bi-polar with a mix of medications which includes Invega. This is a newer version of risperdal which is supposed to have fewer side effects. I think my son is suffering from reduced cognitive functioning, like he is in a fog. It is hard to tell because he definitely had a real drop in IQ testing (about 20 points) which the doctors thought were due to his anxiety and depression at the time of the testing, but I think it might be the meds too. He seems “dumber” than ever and complains about it. He used to be very sharp, although he had other emotional problems which are better controlled now. Do you have any experience with invega or has anyone heard of this? He also seems to have significantly thinning hair and I suspect the 2000 mg of depakote he takes. Any ideas?
Hi V,
I answered this on a blog post. Julie