I am going through an odd phase right now- I’m stable!
It’s odd because it’s very rare for me to be stable a few days in a row. I am very thankful. There are a few things I’ve done to help this stability show up:
Turned off the news- in all forms. I’m created my own stimulus package by changing my ways. I am doing my part to reduce our trillion gazillion deficit!
I go to bed, alone, at home very early every night so that I can read inspirational books such as the Attractor Factor by Joe Vitale and Think and Go Rich by Napoleon Hill. It’s not excatly a big party, but I wake up with energy and a clear mind.
I was finally honest with a dear friend who has become so negative and unhappy that I can no longer listen to her problems. I hope that we can work it out one day- but for now, my mind has more space to be positive.
Stability takes a lot of work and for me a lot of sacrifices- but life is good when I can work, see friends, save money and get out in the world!
How about that same thought process for (of all things) funerals. I find that they really bother me. Not in the usual way that funerals do. We all grieve and are sad at someone’s passing but with BiPolar, I seem to fall further down the slope than many and it takes weeks if not months to recover. It matters not if the funeral is family/friend/whoever…..They say you are not respectful if you don’t go honor someone at their funeral (in the south anyway) How can this be handled in a good way for those of us emotional unstable at such a time as this? Thanks…I love all your materials!
sincerely,
debbie
Hi Debbie,
People with bipolar disorder usually feel things about double than the non bipolar population. This is why we get so overwhelmed so easily! I actually have a dear friend with bipolar I – Sherri – who just asked me the same question about funerals- she wants to attend the funeral of someone she cares about deeply. But she is too ill to fly to the funeral- it’s across the country. I told her that not going is fine- her aunt knows how much she loved her. Sherri has been a wonderful niece and friend. Funerals are about respecting the people you love, but you can do that from anywhere in the world.
When my beloved grandmother died in 1995, I was too ill to go. I often felt sad about it and cried that I was not able to be there- but I have bipolar disorder and in order to stay well, I have to be true to myself. My grandmother’s funeral was in Alabama. I understand all about the south! If you have told your family about the bipolar disorder- and explained that it’s like having pneumonia – you can them remind them that they would never ask you to come if you were ill and coughing all over the plane!
Eventually, it’s about the person who died- not the people who judge you. If you want to stay stable, it’s all about educating others. They understand eventually- you can send them to this blog! You can say- Julie can’t do it either because even though she loves and respects the person who died, she also respects herself and needs to stay well.
I’m almost done with my latest book proposal. It got sidelined when I got so sick in January. There are times when I truly can’t work because of the bipolar disorder- but I can usually get through it and finish my work. Now it’s time to get it done.
I always write in my books that you don’t have to want to do something to get it done. It’s true! But I have found out something else as well- even if you’re confused about the next step of a project- even when you feel overwhelmed and that you can’t do it! – sitting down and starting the work actually tells you the direction you need to take.
This is what I’m going through today. This is a very difficult project- by far my most difficult book- and I just feel like watching a DVD and forgetting about it all. But I won’t. I know what I want my future to look like- which means I have to sit down and work. So here I am in Starbucks. I wrote this blog to get myself started and now it’s time to finish the proposal and get a new deal! I can do it! If you’re working on a tough project – you can do it too!
Oh the itching! If you follow this blog you know that I tried generic Lamictal for my bipolar disorder and then had to go back on brand Lamictal. Well! Since there were little meds in my system, I’m having major side effects from going back on the Lamictal!
I itch! I really itch! And it’s not the rash that comes with the drug. It’s internal like little squiggly creatures are crawling under my skin. It’s like they are amped up on caffeine! They itch.
I also have neck issues that make it difficult to find a comfortable place for my head when I try to sleep!
These are normal side effects and will go away. I was talking with a friend last night and we agreed that it’s such a fine balance between the side effects and the efficacy of the meds! For me, these side effects are uncomfortable, but definitely worth it. My friend is on Zyprexa and she truly struggles with whether the side effects are worth it- sleeping 12 hours, feeling mentally dull and physically tired. But…. the drugs helped her keep her job during a tough evaluation. She of course is great at her job, but the stress made her ill- thus the Zyprexa and the side effects!
There are some very popular books on the market that suggest taking a media break- one is 8 Weeks to Optimal Health by Dr. Andrew Weil and the other is The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I have taken media breaks many times over the past 14 years – for a long time I didn’t have a television.
I’m starting one today. The news is just too histrionic for me right now. It focuses on what we don’t have instead of all that is going well with this country. Yes, many of us are struggling financially. As I mentioned before, I’ve taken a huge hit to my monthly income. So I’m sitting down and doing something about it. Every day in every way! Even when the depression hits.
Many people are prospering because of this economy! Discount stores, amazon.com, writers who preach fiscal responsibility! People are driving their cars, going to restaurants and movies and generally having a good time. They just don’t make good headlines!
It’s a time to get very creative and thrive. And the media is the exact opposite of this. Even if you were laid off, as two of my friends were- watching how bad it is or how bad it’s going to get is pointless. If you aren’t planning to sell your house anytime soon, it’s not a big deal what the market does. If your job is secure and you have money in the bank- first of all good for you – and secondly- no one is going to take it from you.
So I am on my fast. Mental health management is my number one goal in life. It’s hard to stay stable if I wake up at 4AM worrying about the US economy. I want to focus on increasing my own wealth!
I am listening to a beautiful song by John Legend as I write this. I also just read an email from a great guy who talked about going to bed alone again. I believe that all of us long for love!
I know that I do. When a person gets depressed and doesn’t have the love of a partner, it can be tough- that is for sure!
I made a decision to be celibate for 2008. I did it. I am doing it again in 2009. This is an odd decision for an extreme extrovert who loves being with people- especially men! But it’s a decision I had to make. I’ve been in relationships for all of my adult life. A few years ago after some really poor relationship choices- many born of naiveté – I just wanted a break. If you read my work regularly, you know that I am really good at the relationships themselves, but the dating was simply hell. So I stopped.
2009 is my year of health and wealth. I have huge goals that I know I will meet. 2010 is my year for a relationship. I believe that we can have anything we want if we plan ahead and do the steps needed to reach our goals. I did this with my bipolar disorder treatment plan- and I have succeeded more than I thought possible. I can have a life again- but I don’t have it in me to deal with money, health and men at the same time. The bipolar disorder can’t handle it.
I know that in order to stay stable, I have to do things in order.
So, I go to bed alone at night and that is ok. Sure, it’s lonely sometimes. But I now have the brain space needed to make some big changes in my life. This means that when I do seek and meet the right person- my health and wealth will be the best they have ever been!
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