Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

Aggressive irritation is a unfortunate symptom of bipolar disorder. It often comes with a down swing or a mixed episode where you’re manic and depressed at the same time.

We all experience irritation- that’s a normal part of life. Getting cut off on the free way- rude people- crowds- long lines at the supermarket.

Aggressive irritation is much more bipolar disorder related- this irritation has a lot of strength behind it. Instead of getting irritated when we get cut off on the free way- we yell and scream, honk the horn and if particularly bad- actually chase down the person with our car. Oh yes, this happens!

If someone is rude to a person in an aggressive irritated mood swing- they had better watch out- the person with bipolar may say, “What the @$@#$#@ are you looking at! You have a problem with me!” And will then move in on them and practically growl.

Some other signs of this aggressive irritation: throwing things- such as wanting to throw your @$@!$ computer across the room when the internet won’t work. Or feeling your head twitch because you’re so angry at something.

This is NOT good stuff, but it’s common.

Bipolar medications can cause this aggressive irritation as well.- so if you’ve started a new bipolar medication and this anger shows up- talk with your doctor immediately.

An aggressive irritation mood swing a very dangerous place to be when you have bipolar disorder as you could end up in jail-  after just a few minutes of blind action. You have to know the very first signs that you’re getting irritated and do something about these little signs before they turn into the aggression. If you do sports, this is a good time to really kick a ball hard or run as far as you can.  Some sun salutation yoga is also a good idea.   Fast walks help as well.

If you don’t do sports, breathing helps as does walking away from what causes you problems. My biggest tool is talking myself down, “Julie, this is bipolar anger and you need to deal with the bipolar. It’s a bit over the top right now, so slow down and do something for yourself instead of putting this mood swing on someone else!”  I write about irritaion and anger in all of my books as it is such a destructive part of bipolar disorder.

You can also take out your aggression on a journal page- that way no one gets hurt!

 Julie

PS: You can read my irritation/anger Health Card and get a good laugh. Some of the things I think and do when I’m in this mood can be pretty stupid!

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A few hours later- I just received a comment from Carolyn that is so interesting and helpful I am putting it here:

This really hit home with me….I usually see it as passive/aggressive with me…..when I am irritated, I can be soooo passive/aggressive. I just want to strike out, but do it in this way to others…..but usually I am the one who is hurt and the other person has no idea what is going on. I am so angry, irritated…..it is when I feel like I am being pushed in a corner and I need to claw my way out…. this is usually triggered by people who want to tie me up on the phone or just want to talk and talk. I have a son, who has no one but me to talk to and I am not taking charge of this situation and it triggers this reaction in me. Maybe some others will read this and see the same in themselves and maybe even offer advice, but I will probably not take it since I am in this pattern of behavior that I am having difficulty breaking. I need a therapist and have one, but my next appointment is in Sept. In the meantime, I will read my self-help books and try to do what I already know that I am supposed to do….since this is my son and these are friends who are driving me over the cliff, I find it difficult cutting off this behavior that is so damaging to me. Makes my bipolar worst. Thanks for giving me a chance to make a comment. Thank you for your blog.

Carolyn

I just received a comment from David that is very familiar- people often ask me- “Hypomania is good, isn’t it?”  David brings up a similar point.

Hi Julie,

I’ve never figured out why the diagnosis of “hypomania” is a problem… it seems like a good thing all around. There’s nothing wrong with chasing hypomania. In fact if you can live your life, or most of your life, in that state, then more power to you.
Mania, on the other hand, is just destructive.

Hi David,

You bring up a great point- it does seem that hypomania would be a good thing. One of the main problems is that though it may start off as a good thing if you have euphoric hypomania – it often takes over a person’s life in a negative way. I had a three month hypomanic episode in 1987 that did not end well- I was high for three months. I got married after knowing someone for one week. Many people with this kind of hypomania drink and do drugs, rarely sleep, make very dangerous decisions, upset their families, leave their jobs, travel without thinking and spend money like crazy.  It can actually be very destructive- the problem is that the person with the hypomania feels so good, they can ‘t see the destruction. Then, most people go down after a hypomania. Unless you have a form of the illness where you’re mostly manic- the saying ‘what goes up most come down’ is applicable here.

I do love hypomania- I really do- but only at the beginning. This is why I never let mine go too far- I always go way down once  it’s over!

Then there is dysphoric hypomania- that’s agitated mild mania that can be mixed with depression. It’s so uncomfortable and often at just a low enough level that you can do a lot of damage to relationships because you’re so darn unpleasant to be around. Sleep is also a problem here.

I guess that hypomania is like being on a drug.  We all know that people originally take drugs to feel better- and hypomania sure does feel good after a downswing- this is why I want to chase it, but I don’t. I am more creative, expansive, outgoing, fun and wild when I’m hypomanic- to the point that I used to make a lot of mistakes- I don’t do that anymore.  Now I have to accept that the hypomania is not good for me!

I think that one of the most confusing things is that people with hypomania don’t have psychosis- which is often what makes full blown mania so awful- and people with hypomania are just high enough to cause problems, but not quite out of it enough to need treatment.  This is a great comment, so I’m going to put it on the blog.

Do any of you have positive hypomania with no downsides or no downswings afterwards?

Julie

I always get confused between what I feel is the normal me and the hypomanic me. I have found that  I tend to guess a bit on the high side- in other words- the slightly hypomanic me feels normal, but of course it’s not. I spent 15 years chasing the normal me and it turned out to be the hypomanic me!

My normal self is actually pretty calm.

How about you? Do you chase mania? It’s easy to do. No one in the world would ever wish for depression. It’s ok to want to chase mania. Actually letting yourself do it is the problem!

Julie