Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

My Latest Bp Magazine Article

Do you read BP Magazine? I love it.

I also write a column for the magazine where I get to go into a personal topic in depth and tell a bit about myself in the process. There is always so much to write about – this time I chose the topic of cleaning up after a nasty mood swing. So much is affected when a person gets sick for a long period of time. Even a few weeks of a suicidal depression can change everything at work for example. This is especially true with mania- especially if sex or money were involved!

If you have never read the magazine, you are really in for something special. I recommend it for anyone and everyone affected by bipolar disorder.

Here is a link to read more about the magazine. I think you will really enjoy the articles. I have been in since the beginning and I still learn something new every single time I get my copy.

If you already get the magazine, let me know what you think!

Julie

Depression, Suicide and Laughing

I am sure that seems like an odd blog title- but I find the whole thing odd that a person can be extremely depressed and be able to really laugh at something funny, like a silly dog video and then when the laughing is done, the depression is right there.

One of the dangerous realities of suicide is that people who are often very suicidal can actually seem normal. They can go about their lives, laugh a bit and even talk about the future- and inside all they think about is how they want their life to end. It’s very common.

If you are a family member of someone with bipolar disorder this can all be extremely confusing. How is it possible that we can act one way and think another way? How can we go to a birthday party, have fun and then go home and not be able to stop crying?

It’s part of the illness. I know that when I go through serious depression, I look for those moments that remind me that life is going to be ok. That is the reality, not the depression and suicidal thoughts.

So, it is a dichotomy. It is hard to live with, believe me! Today is Easter and many people celebrate the day with family and food- and especially candy if there are kids around. It’s possible to be in this environment and feel better- or it can make a person feel worse that life can go on and other people can find happiness- so why can’t the person with bipolar!

The way out of this is a treatment plan. If you love someone with bipolar, you have to have a plan too!

As you may know, I’m a huge sports fanatic- the finals of the NCAA basketball tournament are tomorrow night. There is a team in the finals called Butler than many are calling a Cinderella story- of course they are not. They have done well for many years- but people want to think things happen overnight and that makes you a Cinderella story! I just heard an interview where the coach said that is was a FIFTEEN year process to get where they are today.

Why do I mention this? Because it can take a long time to learn to manage this illness- how do I tie all of this into depression, suicide and laughter? Because after 15 years of managing this illness daily, I know that depression and especially suicidal thoughts are 100% the illness and my ability to laugh is 100% me. I want to focus on that.

julie

Bipolar Disorder and Travel Time Changes …. sort of

I am having a good time in Michigan. It is a bit odd to be here as I have never visited my dad in his home. We were not in contact for a long time. It is nice to see where he lives. He is very happy and I love how calm his life is. I think we all want our relatives to be happy and calm. It’s not always like that is it! I know that my desire for a balanced, happy, financially secure and emotionally stable family is normal. I also know it’s up to me to create that in my life if others around me are not sable. What others do is up to them- how I interact with them is up to me!

I am here with my nephew David. I don’t have children- so he is my connection with the future! He is who I think of when my depression is at its worst. We all need a purpose and a child gives you purpose! I remember driving down the street, trying to figure out my purpose in life – it can’t be work, money, travel, writing- I know it needs to be something human- and for me it’s David. He’s a cutie!

Wow, I got off topic! I wanted to write about time changes and travel when you have bipolar. I will do that in the next blog post…..

Julie

Julie and David at the University of Michigan

On My Way to Michigan

Yes, I am flying again. It’s quite a miracle. I was not able to fly for years- then I came up with my system that seems to work pretty well. I am with my 8 year old nephew this time, so that will be fine.

Flying is not the problem- it’s the getting ready. It is such a simple thing and yet such a stressful thing. I just stop every extraneous behavior in my life and prepare for the trip. I am visiting my dad and that is a long story!

My main tip for traveling is to get yourself on the time change time before you go. I got up at 5 this morning. I went to sleep at 10. That makes it easier. I also just deal with the anxiety because it’s DUMB to get anxious over such a simple one week trip. But this is my third flight in a year- and that is a miracle!

If you click on the travel tab to the right, you can read my other travel tips!

I am thankful to fly again!

How is travel for you?

Julie

Baseball Inspiration

If you have been reading this blog for very long- you know I love to use sports analogies to teach about bipolar disorder management. A huge part of my treatment plan rests on a get it done philosophy. I have taught myself to get things done even when my brain tells me I should just kill myself or quit. My brain is very mean sometimes. I am sure you understand. If you love someone with bipolar- you don’t want to understand! It’s not pleasant. Athletes have to go out and get things done no matter how they are feeling as well. I admire that.

The following article from Yahoo Sports is an example of someone who made a decision and stuck to it. It inspires me.

Baseball Pitcher Finishes High School and Makes it Big in the Majors!

You don’t have to like sports to learn from the world’s greatest athletes. The discipline required to play professionally is the same discipline we need to manage bipolar disorder successfully.

Julie

PS: Here is one more story

Get it Done When You’re Depressed is the book that best reflects this post.

How are You Today?

I find that a really loaded question these days. Do I tell the truth? Part of the truth? Do I side step the question or do I lie?

When a person is depressed, it can be hard to answer the typical how are you question with an honest reply.

How am I? Thank you for asking. I have been suicidal for months and fear for my life, but I just keep going on and on and on.

How am I? I’m fine, thanks. How about that basketball game last night!

How am I? I had a manic episode last summer that ruined my marriage. Other than that, things are great!

How am I? I am so anxious I feel I am going to implode, but I have to get out in life to make money so that I can have enough money to buy my meds. My life is a mess.

Hmmmm. I don’t think that is what people want to hear. If you are sitting across a table from a friend and they say, “Julie, how are you really?” then you can say the truth.

Here is how I answer the how are you question. If things are going well, I am honest. If things are only mildly bad, I say, “I’m fine thanks!” If things are awful, I say, “It’s not a good day today. Let’s talk about you. We can talk about me later.”

I have worked hard on this so as not to overwhelm people. I know when it’s appropriate to talk about myself and this illness.

Julie Fast