Yes!

 Here is a post from Bonnie. I am always looking for positive stories.

 Hi Julie,

 I just came across your site today. I can relate to your situation. I’m 44 today. Back when I was 17 in 1983, just as I was entering senior high school, I started acting strange. I didn’t want to sleep and I didn’t want to eat. Eventually I was admitted to our local hospital in the mental ward. I was there 2 weeks. I came home but was still not right. I was saying and doing things out of my character. I was becoming delusional. At the end of the year I was admitted to University Hospital in Seattle for about 2 months. It wasn’t until 1986 that I finally was diagnosed with Bi-polar. Back then it was called Manic Depression. I went to a Naturepathic doctor and he put me on a bunch of vitamins and Lithium. I take 300mg twice a day. I have not had an episode since. I will be interested in buying your Health Cards because I’m sure they will help me. I know that I still have Bi-Polar disorder, I just have it under control.

Bonnie

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Thanks Bonnie. I sometimes wonder if I will ever get better- to me that means long periods of time without mood swings. That is always my goal. Thanks for reminding us that it’s possible!  The name changes in bipolar are interesting: Mania Depression. Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar Affective Disorder, Bipolar Illness – and I just heard bipolarlity!

Julie

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    Yes! Absolutely! Always! It’s hard but I can do it!

     That is what you will normally hear me say and it’s true. I can work when I’m depressed. My   problem is that I don’t want to work when I’m stable.  How often are you stable? It’s a new world to  me that I rarely get to visit, but I have noticed many things about this world.

   –  People like to just sit around and do things- watch TV, go to a movie, have coffee with friends, knit, mess around in the garage, fish, take a walk, relax in a bath, listen to music, go on a road trip. ETC.

    Those things are all so hard for me due to mood swings.  I’ve had five days of stability recently. No mania and a bit of depression only. And I don’t feel like doing anything! Is that what it’s like for those who just want to live life and be happy? Is my drive for success, change, creation and survivial only a byproduct of my depression?

Interesting question.

I’m adding a chapter on medications to my book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder. My coauthor John and I are working on it this month and the new editon of the book will come out in 2012 (yes, that is crazy!). I work much better when I’m down. So right now that I feel normal, I am going to make myself work as though I were down. There is a dichotomy!

How about you? Is there a particular mood where you are more productive? Julie

         It’s been twenty-seven years since I heard the words that I still remember so clearly, “Lizabeth, you are a textbook case manic depressive” (now bipolar type I).  I was seventeen and in the throes of a manic episode.  The diagnosis did not mean a whole lot to me at the time.  Psychotic features came along with it (for me those were delusions of grandeur and even some slight visual hallucinations).  It pretty much came out of the blue—well after a trigger—but what I mean is that I never had any other symptoms prior to it.  After a month-long hospitalization and when everything got back to normal, you would have almost thought that it just “went away”.  I didn’t really consider if it would happen again.  A few months later, I graduated from high school and went to college, took my medicine and listened to my doctor—that’s all that had changed—for then…

The long and short of it is that I did experience more manic episodes (and then we got the medication right), but years later it was the depressions (and especially the Seasonal Affective Disorder [S.A.D.]) that became more debilitating.  Sure it’s been a long road of ups and downs, but what I realize is that even though there have been many difficult times, the good and healthy ones have been a bigger part of my life.  I learned at a young age that compliance with medication and listening to my doctors (which I always did) would prove to help in the long run to help diminish the extremes of this illness.

Life after diagnosis was never going to be quite the same.  I now had to pay attention to what it took to get to a place of wellness.  But, it’s taught me a lot—about perseverance and the will to get back up each time.  I did not and will not allow it to rob me of what I want to do.  Slow me down, yes, but stop me, no.  I continue to take my medicine and see my doctor.  I have my faith, I exercise, try to keep my sleep in line, research, try to eat healthy, am active in a support group, have a wonderful support network of family and friends and I won’t give up—ever.  My desire to just move on is what has always driven me.  I’ve never wanted to stay in a place of feeling sorry for myself—for a little while is ok, but beyond that would only prevent me from moving forward.  So, I guess I’ve kind of treated it as any other illness—you’re sick, you do what it takes to heal, and you recover.  Of course there’s a lot more to it, but giving up has never been an option (of course, with all this being said—it’s still a ton of work).

I don’t take my health for granted and I celebrate the good moments because I don’t know how long they will be there (sometimes a long time and sometimes very short).  I do thank God every day that I am alive.  This illness has taught me so much and has definitely made me a more compassionate and empathetic person.  If I can handle this illness as I have, others can too—and just maybe—the tools that work for me (after living with this illness for twenty-seven years) can help someone else.

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Lizabeth is a mental health advocate for people with mood disorders.  She is actively involved in the The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) and The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) in the Metropolitan Washington, DC area.  Her latest article appeared in bp Magazine (On My Mind series).  She has recently completed her memoir and pursuing publication.  If you would like to contact her, please post a comment under her post.

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Thanks to Lizabeth for this posting. I find her so amazing because she is dedicated to advocacy- the political and personal kind.  I know that all of us have different ways to get the word out about bipolar disorder – for me it’s writing- for others it’s standing on the steps of a courthouse!  It’s great that we can all work together. I will keep you posted on when Lizabeth’s book is published.  

 Julie

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