My roommate Dan just told me he stayed up until 3:00 AM watching the internet coverage of the Japanese earthquakes and resulting tsunamis. He said he was very upset by what he saw and that it was, ‘like watching CGI in a big blockbuster movie. But it was real.”
I lived in Japan for three years- my mom lived there for five. We know the country well. I remember many small earthquakes and how we all would do the drills in case the aftershocks were bigger. No one could prepare for what happened yesterday.
You may wonder why I am writing about earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan on a bipolar blog.
I’m writing to ask that people with bipolar disorder turn off the television, get off the internet, fold the newspapers and stop the conversations if the discussions are making you sick. This is a big request. It’s easy for us to watch and watch something unfolding in almost real time. To see the ships sucked under the bridge or the burning houses sliding into the ocean.
I was there just a few minutes ago- I started to think of where I would have been when the tsunamis hit- where my friends are now- what would happen if…. and then I realized I had to take my own advice. I know enough. I am not going to watch the coverage any more. I’m not going to look for more videos or find the images on TV. I turned it off.
When it comes to world disasters, I learn the basics and then focus on the most basic fact of my life: bipolar management comes first. This is why I don’t own a TV. I don’t read the newspapers and I don’t listen to NPR. I need to know something once- and then move on or I will get sick.
My roommate Dan doesn’t have bipolar disorder, so staying up until 3:00 AM watching the coverage or thinking and talking about it today won’t make him ill.
It could make you or the person you love ill. We live in a 24 hour media world- but the bipolar brain needs a rest. If things feel out of control in terms of depression and anxiety- and if you are worried about the world. Turn off the media and focus on what’s in front of you. I am going to do the same.
I always try to know what is going on- then I stop before it goes too far in my brain. I know that many of you will understand. If you love someone with bipolar who is obsessing about the coverage- feel free to send them this blog. It often takes a person with bipolar to get through to a person with bipolar!
Julie
PS: How are you handling this?
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After my divorce I fell into a depression. There were many harmful things about this state of mind for me but one of these was lack of eating. Some people use food for comfort when they are depressed, I am the opposite. When I am depressed I don’t eat. I share custody of my children and the weeks that they were not with me I would literally lay in bed all week and not eat. Sometimes I would get up and look in the fridge but nothing looked good, nothing sounded good and it all seemed like way to much work just to eat. Even pouring a bowl of cereal seemed like too much work, I literally thought lifting the spoon to my mouth and having to chew was too much effort. It took me a long time to realize that I was sick and needed help.
I had never experienced depression in my life and it wasn’t until I started pulling myself out of this hole that I understood how sick I really was. Many of my friends tell me that they wish they had this problem and that they would change places with me anytime. They sometimes will even get a little mean and say things like, oh yeah poor Sheri, she’s so skinny, I feel so sorry for you….always in a sarcastic voice. This can be just as unhealthy as over eating.
People told me I was looking very thin, I ignored them because society accepts thin and no one guessed that I had just stopped eating. At this point I could see my ribs. I finally asked for help. Friends would text me daily and ask if I had eaten. One friend would text me constantly until I would finally go into the kitchen and eat something. I promised them I would not lie about my eating. I still find myself forgetting to eat some days but I constantly check in at regular meal times and ask myself, “Sheri? Have you eaten today?” If it all seems like too much I know I better do a little checking in to see where I am mentally. I’m much better now. I have always loved food so I now I treat myself to food I enjoy and that is healthy for me. I’ve gained the weight back and my depression is much better. I owe it to myself and my children to be healthy.
It’s time to get the word out about Charlie Sheen and mania. He is in a manic episode. I know because I have been there as have the tens of thousands of people who come to my blog every month. Mania has very, very distinct symptoms that are not matched in any other illness- nor are they similar to what a person says when they are drunk or on drugs. This is an important distinction. To prove a point and to help Charlie Sheen get help- I have created a list of manic symptoms that match his quotes. This can be a reference for the media that continues to exploit him instead of recognizing a very obvious illness. Here is the list and please note that it’s simply impossible for a ‘normal’ brain to come up with these quotes. This is mania:
Grandiose thinking and talking– “I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars. People can’t figure me out. They can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.”
Hyper Sexuality- On his porn star family “Let me say this about the Goddesses, I don’t think the term is good enough, but when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available. So if you think about it, dude, I’m 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn’t lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I’ll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers.”
Compulsive talking– also known as pressured speech- can’t let other’s talk, etc. This is pretty darn obvious and one reason the media can’t get enough.
Compulsive Spending: When someone has this much money, the spending is not as reported.
You’re a magnet to others: It’s easy to get an entourage when you are manic. Many people with bipolar meet their partners when they are manic.
Absolutely, positively unable to see that you’re sick: “No. Not going to. Period. The end. I blinked and I cured my brain. Can’t is the cancer of happen.”
Wrecked relationships: on his wife’s restraining order: “Great. I was already planning on staying 100 parsecs away from her.” (A parsec is a unit of length equaling 3.26 light-years.)
No sleep- this is obvious. This man is not sleeping.
Extremely strange and out of context connections in sentences: “I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”
Agitation: Inability to sit down. Restless and unable to follow a normal routine. Obvious.
Changes in facial looks- a quote from a magazine: “He looks cadaverous.” All people in a agitated manic episode look like this. They sweat a lot- their eyes look wild and their body language changes.
Excessive drug and alcohol use- people in a manic episode can consume an unbelievable amount of drugs and alcohol as compared to the general population. This can lead to mania in someone who has the latent gene that has not come out before. It’s complicated, but a big issue in the medical community.
Look carefully at what he says. Our brains simply are not capable of stringing these words together unless we are manic. It doesn’t happen. The manic brain is racing and revving with chemicals that change the way a person thinks, looks, acts and talks. It’s dangerous and can be deadly.
Addressing Rumors He’s Bipolar: “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what? If I’m bipolar, aren’t there moments where a guy like crashes in the corner like, ‘Oh my God, it’s all my mom’s fault!’ Shut up! Shut up! Stop! Move forward.”
“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. It’s too much.” He later told a reported he had Adonis and Tiger Blood.
THIS IS A PLEA TO THE MEDIA
Stop reporting on this like it’s a Charlie Sheen freak show. It is going to be absolutely devastating to him when the episode ends and he realizes what has happened. You don’t have to believe this, but he is not aware of what is going on. None of us are when we get this manic. Read more about bipolar mania and try to recognize that what he is going through is a very serious illness. Don’t exploit him. Help him. Bipolar disorder has a 10% suicide rate and what goes up must come down. When the depression happens after one of these episodes, it’s the most dangerous time for a person with bipolar disorder. I read this morning that some media outlets are preparing for Charlie Sheen’s obituary.
I was just on the radio in Dallas. I thought the interviewer did an excellent job. He wanted to help his audience understand bipolar disorder. He was respectful and really seemed to get it that bipolar is an illness. I explained that Charlie Sheen either has bipolar and has hidden it really well- which would not be impossible considering that Hollywood can be pretty insular- but I think he did some crack and brought out the full blown manic episode. I am tired of journalists not doing even just a wee bit of homework before they write their articles. Here is another one I read this morning. I wrote the author with some info on mania. This article is interesting because she does a very good job of recording what Charlie Sheen is actually saying and doing. It could be in Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder on the mania explanation page!
The article is from Salon.com and the writer Mary Elizabeth Williams ought to know better! (PS. I wrote this rather judgmental line and then heard from MaryElizabeth. She pointed out that she is there to report the news and not diagnose anyone. I do see where she’s coming from. I also feel the media can go with their hunches and find those who can speculate on what’s wrong. But that is a fine line as well! What do you think? Unfortunately, I then read another article and got pretty mad again. I put the link at the bottom of this post. Julie)
This is the opening paragraph from the Salon.com article:
“What is going on inside the head of Charlie Sheen?” That was the question posed in the opening moments of Tuesday’s special edition of “20/20.” An hour later, America had the answer its suspected for quite some time now: ego and delusion.
There wasn’t much in the well-hyped ABC special on Sheen to surprise anyone who’s been watching clips of the headline-grabbing star’s recent torrent of sound bite-rich media appearances. Viewed in one big, black market-grade dose, however, the intimate look inside the head and home of Charlie Sheen made for riveting television. It was deeply depressing and flat out frightening — and often, unnervingly, very funny. The guy looks more cadaverous by the minute and his megalomaniacal fury is a slow motion train wreck, but there’s no denying the guy can turn an entertaining phrase. So when Andrea Canning promised Sheen “in his own words,” there was no doubt viewers were in for some wildly colorful stuff. And sure enough, he delivered. He may just be an out-of-work sitcom actor, but if you read a short story in the New Yorker in which a self-destructive narcissist bragged that his exploits made the Rat Pack and the Rolling Stones look like “droopy- eyed armless children,” you’d think, this writer’s amazing.
Feel free to send me your comments, espeically if you have had an agitated manic episode. We know that his body is just churning and his mind is exploding with the thoughts and he is going to be so incredibly worn out soon. I hope he makes it to the hospital before he does something to get himself into jail.
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I always like to write about those in the public eye who seem to have bipolar disorder. In this case, even I was unable to see what was going on. I’m a big fan of the Dan Patrick Show. It’s all about sports and Charlie Sheen has been a regular guest. A few weeks ago he started calling in himself and asking to be on the air. I heard two interviews. He didn’t sound manic- but he definitely sounded stressed and out of touch with the realities of drug and alcohol use- as most of us with mania have experienced.
Then I noticed him him on a few other shows and he looked terrible. I felt bad for him- it’s not ok for the media to exploit those who are ill. I could write more on this, but I feel that Joe Pompeo in his artilce below says it all. Let’s hope that Charlie gets help TODAY. Can you imagine if our mood swings were televised? Or if we had to see our loved one’s self destruct on television? That is what’s happening to him- and hopefully the media will see the role it has played in the sad situation. Here is Joe’s article:
News outlets take flak for hyping Sheen spectacle
By Joe Pompeo
The unhinged actor, whose associations with drugs, hookers and porn stars have kept him in the headlines since last fall, has given four major video interviews since CBS last week abruptly canceled his hit show, “Two and a Half Men.” And Sheen’s termination, fittingly enough, issued from yet another controversial media appearance–a radio interview in which Sheen repeatedly attacked the show’s creator.
The latest round of highly candid Sheen chats-with ABC News, NBC News, TMZ and CNN–has made for endlessly entertaining TV and online video, which have, in turn, fanned out into a constant stream of tweets and blog posts chronicling Sheen’s eccentric, at times utterly incoherent, ramblings. Indeed, Sheen-mania built to such a pitch that the star’s own longtime flack resigned because “I’m unable to work effectively as his publicist.”
But as producers and commentators continue to program evermore ranting Sheen footage, some media critics are taking issue with the whole spectacle. Sheen has clearly suffered some sort of mental disturbance, they insist, and it’s unseemly for news professionals to keep using his outbursts to feed the 24/7 news cycles.
“They’re not just pointing at Charlie Sheen’s self-immolation, they are throwing gasoline on it, and with Sheen’s distress as obvious as it is, making accomplices of the audience,” wrote Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher on Tuesday morning.
“The coverage has become excessive, even dangerous,” the Poynter Institute’s Julie Moos agreed echoing comments Monday from Aaron Barnhart of the Kansas City Star: “It’s time for all the tabloid media to stop returning Charlie’s texts and calls. Instead, they should be using their journalism to identify the people around Charlie who can actually get him into a rehab facility — against his will if necessary — and then start badgering them to do something.”
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One of life’s great lessons is to accept, master, and ultimately enjoy that which cannot be avoided. Chances are you already know that bipolar disorder is incurable, however, there is a vast spectrum of experience in between being a victim of the illness and living a full, productive, and happy life that includes it. Over the four decades since my first manic episode I have gone from one extreme to the other.
It is not my intention to underestimate or romanticize this rude adversary. I’ve done cracker factory time, engaged in all manner of reckless behavior, and rebuilt my ruined life time and time again. It’s a wonder I’m here at all. That said, let me urge you to hold on tight to this one bit of advice while trudging through the foreign and forbidding landscapes – embrace your bipolar bear and take it dancing.
The epigraph for my bipolar memoir, Invisible Driving, is by Rainer Marie Rilke, “Perhaps everything that is terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.” Only through dealing with the illness did I come to understand myself and lose my fear of life. Learning why I was susceptible caused me to evolve in ways I never would have otherwise. Bipolar disorder has given me far more than it ever took; because of it I achieved the peace of mind and gratitude I enjoy today.
If you are new to the illness your instinct will be to deny and forget it – don’t. If you are new to recovery you may think you are “cured” and stop taking your meds – don’t. If you are early in therapy and meeting the demons responsible for your manic episodes you will want to turn away – don’t. If you feel stigma, if you feel “less than” because of the broken genes you carry – don’t.
The problem you refuse to face is the problem that will continually present itself until you do. Bipolar disorder is not a cute little foe; it is a monster you must not battle alone. Embrace it; let it teach you and guide you to places ?normal? folk cannot spell, much less imagine. Befriend your bipolar bear, it is part of you, embrace it and take it dancing.
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