Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

Reader Question on Work and Bipolar Disorder

Rachel read a blog post about work and bipolar disorder. Here is her question:

Thank You Julie. I have had so many jobs over the years, some more successful than others, but my illness always seems to get in my way. I have been sick for sev eral months again now, unemployed, but trying to get get better. I have the support of my husband, some understanding from my kids, but how do you forgive yourself? Rachel

Hi Rachel,

I face what you are going through all of the time. I miss months and months of work- but it’s a certain kind of work. If I’m busy and have deadlines I do better. If the work all comes from my mind- such as writing a book on my own, I find it very difficult. Having bipolar disorder means we are going to lose time. I’ve lost so much I can’t even count it anymore. But you keep going.

Many, many people with bipolar disorder have trouble working. It’s simply an unfortunate trigger. I would talk to the kids and be completely honest about bipolar. You can tell them about me! I write books- I speak- I coach and I have friends- and work is still a very big struggle.

You are Not alone.

You would never try to forgive yourself if you had cancer- there is no reason to have to forgive yourself when you have bipolar. Just keep going- sing massive praise to your awesome sounding husband and go easy on yourself. It’s a tough illness and not working is not your fault! Work when you can and go from there.

Julie

Bipolar Disorder: Excitement and downswings!

I had a wonderful weekend at a writer’s conference. Because of this, I knew I had to be prepared for a downswing. It was inevitable. Bipolar disorder doesn’t care if I had a good time – it just noticed that things were different and that I was in an exciting environment.

I woke up slightly down and thought- oh well, I can get through this. Then I felt better! But it didn’t last. Within a few hours the bad thoughts started. First: I wish I were dead. And then: You’re Pathetic!

I always hear the ‘you’re pathetic’ voice when I get stressed. The ‘I wish I were dead’ is an old friend as well. One gets used to these stress companions.

That doesn’t make it easy, but at least I know my enemy. The weekend was amazing as it was the first time I was able to go to a conference and not get sick during the conference! I had hardly any paranoia! This is wonderful.

The conference reminded me that I’ve gotten so much better over the past few years. I’m grateful.

Julie

PS: That’s me signing books after my presentation. And yes, I cut my long hair! Yes it is me! I am going to let it grow back. It looks too much like Suze Orman. HaHa

Bipolar Disorder Depression Treatment: My brain is lying to me!

My Bipolar Brain is Lying to Me!

All right bipolar brain! I’ve had enough! Shut up!

This is what I had to say to myself today when my brain would not leave me alone. I sat outside at a cafe to get work done today. The weather was great, my hands which often give me trouble were not bothering me and I was actually getting work done. But every time a couple walked by I had the thought- you will never be happy like them Julie. Or if I saw a baby- I had the thought- you’ll never have the experience of having a baby. I felt like my life was wasting away and that others were having so much more fun than I was.

This is the bipolar trap and luckily I know enough to eventually recognize what it is and then tell my brain to.. shut up. It’s a harsh way to do it, but when this happens I have to snap myself out of it. Here are the facts outside of bipolar disorder:

– I am currently single because it’s the absolute right choice for me. It’s a conscious decision. I’ve been in relationships for the majority of my adult life and I doubt a year without one will kill me. Of course I prefer a loving relationship as most people do, but now is not the time. Crazy brain.

– I have never wanted a child nor do I want one now! It’s ridiculous what my brain says! My nephew is the light of my life and that is enough for me! What on earth is my brain thinking? I don’t even want to take care of a puppy! 🙂

– There is no way everyone is happier than I am. Please! There are 100,000 + people where I live.

– In an hour I’m going to meet friends to see a movie and then have a bbq. Why does my brain completely disregard this information?

Bipolar disorder lies to me. It lies all of the time. If I listen to it, as I did for many, many years, I will be miserable.

Saying I’ve had enough! and SHUT UP! to my brain and writing this got me out of the episode.

Julie

PS: When I read this, it’s actually quite funny what the brain comes up with. It’s hard when I’m in it- but funny when I think of how totally dumb it is.

PSS: In case you were wondering, that is not me in the picture.

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Bipolar Mania and Pressured Speech

Bipolar Mania: “Your brain is directly connected to your tongue.”

This is the way my friend Dr. Jay Carter describes people in a manic episode. He says, “Thoughts slip right past the frontal lobe and off the tongue. The person is talkative and has a hard time stopping. This is also called Pressured Speech. If this person doesn’t stop, you can tell they are really not listening to you- they are just trying to be patient until they can continue talking.”

He has an amazing talent for explaining bipolar disorder symptoms.

If you are not sure if a person is manic, listen to how they speak and compare it to how they normall speak. If you see pressured speech, it’s a good indication that mania has paid a visit.

I have pressured speech when I get manic. It feels like the words are sitting on my tongue and just have to get out of my mouth. I try to control it. My friend Sheri goes through it as well. When she gets manic she keeps her lips squeezed tight. She says, “I’m keeping it together Julie right? I’m keeping it together. No one will know I’m manic.” She’s right. If you can keep your lips from talking, you can control pressured speech while you are getting better. But OMG it’s hard!

Julie

Accepting New Family and Partner Coaching Clients

Writing books on bipolar disorder has been my career for over ten years. I enjoy writing and plan to do a lot more. (It can be a challenge when the mood swings are paying a visit, that’s for sure.)

Over two years ago, I started coaching partners and family members of people with bipolar disorder as an addition to my writing career.

I never, ever thought I would find work that I enjoy as much as I enjoy coaching. I feel at home with the parents and partners as I have been where they are- and I remain calm during the crises that many of my clients are going through while we are working together. Bipolar disorder is like a puzzle. It’s not always easy to find the right pieces on your own. It helps to have a coach as a guide.

My coaching practice has room for new clients. I take new clients about once a month-and then help them as best I can. It’s a partnership that saves relationships and often lives.

Coaching is not for everyone, but if you are concerned about your relationship with a person with bipolar disorder, it may be a good fit for you. The following link will tell you more. I look forward to talking.

Julie Fast Family and Partner Coaching

Julie

Bipolar Disorder and Work Reader Story

Julie

I have worked several years since my diagnosis by it always ended in disaster when I would have a manic state and try to reinvent the work environment I was in. This created havoc for my co workers that ended up in me being fired in on position of office manager. I was in charge of the accounting for a three million dollar a year practice, that ended with me having a breakdown and the books being investigated and them finding that I had times when my accounting was way out of whack. I was fired from this place and only because of the compassion of my employer charges weren’t brought against me. So henceforth I am very sceptical about my returning to work no matter how well i get in fear that it can all go wrong again and of course my resume isn’t worth the paper it is written on due to all my terminations. So that’s my reality and I’ve learned to accept that.

Great story. Some of us can work full time and some can’t. Some can run their own businesses and some can’t. That is reality. I believe in being real about bipolar. I know that we can all find some kind of work we can do- if we want to. If you are someone who struggles with bipolar disorder and truly doesn’t have to work because you are supported by family or a partner- see it for what it is- something GREAT!

Julie