Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

How do I know the difference between teenage behavior and teenage bipolar disorder behavior?

Is it possible for me to know the difference?

It can be difficult, but it’s not impossible.

It’s all about degrees- typical teens and bipolar teens act in similar ways, but not with the same intensity. And bipolar disorder behavior is ALWAYS out of sync with events.

For example, a typical teen who is angry may yell at you and run to their room and slam the door. A teen with bipolar disorder may yell, try to hit you and then run out of the house and not come back for hours.

Another very important distinction- typical teens tend to calm down and go back to ‘normal’ once they have let you know how they feel. Teens with bipolar disorder can stay in certain upsetting moods for much, much longer.

A typical teen gets excited about life. A teen with bipolar disorder who is manic goes over the top with emotions the point of impulsive and dangerous behaviors.

Remember: It’s not only the behavior. It’s the intensity of the behavior.

Why is it harder for teenagers to manage bipolar disorder?

Adults with bipolar disorder have the same dichotomy of course- but we have more ability to recognize and change the extremes. For teenagers it’s all so new! Teens have to deal with first time emotions such as falling in love or studying for an exam and they don’t know what to do when the bipolar disorder takes over. There is little reference as to what is ‘normal.’ This makes it hard for teens to see they are having trouble- so their blame may go towards the parents or internally with suicidal thoughts.

On the other side, parents are usually confused because teens are notorious for being moody. No wonder it’s hard to tell what’s what! All of the parents I work with have this problem. It’s universal for teens with bipolar disorder.

As a parent, you are amazing and you do your best. My biggest tip is to look for behavior that is out of proportion to an event and then work on recognizing and stopping the behavior- this is the best place to start on your journey of helping your teenager manage their bipolar disorder.

Julie

PS: My book section describes my Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder. This is an exceptionally good tool for teens and parents. Regarding my books, I think that Bipolar Happens! is the best for teens while Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder really helps parents understand the illness. Bipolar Happens! is available on the Kindle for .99 and can be read on any device- including phones. I know that’s where teens read these days!

Letter to a friend about bipolar

A friend and I had a long talk about bipolar last night. He said that he would not get rid of his bipolar disorder if he had the chance. I was shocked by this as the illness has really caused him serious trouble. I know that I would do ANYTHING to get this illness out of my life. Tonight, I started to think more of our conversation. Here is a letter I wrote him:

Hi,

I was just going to write in my journal but decided to write you instead. I’ve kept a journal since 1990! Can you believe that! When Ivan (my ex who has bipolar one) was in the hospital I wrote down everything that happened. I recently went back to read them- as I was thinking of doing a memoir- and my memory was actually different than what happened. It was weird.

Since I’ve learned to manage the illness more successfully, I’ve had some weird things happen. Tonight for example – my brain is quiet. I’ve wished for this my entire life- what I didn’t expect was how unmotivated it would be. When I’m depressed, my brain is so active that it pushes me to do things. I write better when I’m slightly depressed believe it or not- at least in terms of my bipolar books. It’s so odd. I used to think- if I were well enough, I could rule the world! I’ve recently learned that people don’t normally live with a relentless drive to get things done. It’s all I think about when I’m not well.

When you said you wouldn’t trade the bipolar – maybe you meant that you don’t want to lose the creativity. The creativity that comes with bipolar disorder is always on a tight rope. It’s very easy to fall off- and then creativity ends. We don’t get to keep the super high creativity and stay stable. That’s a fact.

Mania is so creative that it often spins out of control. I do have some wonderful times at the beginning though. So, if I were slightly manic for the rest of my life, I would love it. Since I’m rarely manic, I have to come up with ways to make my depressed brain push me to greater things. I’m so driven to get well that I write about the process daily- as a record and as a way to help others get well. My management ideas are working. I just hope I don’t ever lose my drive.

Julie

I’m interested to know what you think….

Bipolar Disorder and Suicide

Suicidal thoughts are normal when you have bipolar disorder.

I remember driving one day when I was very stressed and unhappy. I was on a busy road and saw a red light up ahead. My mind said, “Julie, you can just run that red light and a car will hit you and all will be taken care of!” These thoughts used to scare me a lot. I now know they’re a response to stress. When I told my friend Lani this story she said, “Well, your brain thought is was helping!”

So true. These thoughts are not real. They are manufactured by a bipolar brain. Don’t believe them.

If you are suicidal right now, you have options other than killing yourself.

#1 Say to yourself: I have bipolar disorder and suicidal thoughts are normal. Say it over and over again until you get help.

#2 Call anyone and do anything to get help and be honest when you talk to someone. “I’m suicidal and I need help.” You can walk directly to an ER and do this. Crisis lines are there to help. They know what they are doing. Call a friend.

#3 Don’t worry if you’re embarrassed. Better embarrassed than no longer on the planet.

When I’m suicidal, it’s always a sign that my meds are not working or that an event has happened to send me over the edge. I try to focus on fixing those things instead of listening to the suicidal thoughts. These suicidal thoughts are often the result of something you can definitely change. Once it is changed, you can get back to baseline. If you kill yourself over an event it’s not effective. It’s more effective to deal with the situation or leave it completely.

There are definitely situations where the bipolar is 100% responsible for the suicidal thoughts. Nothing has happened and there is no reason you should be so miserable. These suicidal thoughts have to be taken very seriously as your brain is really malfunctioning. This is when medications are 100% essential. Don’t hesitate to take meds.

Keeping yourself alive is all that matters when you’re suicidal. If you can’t do this for yourself-turn yourself over to someone who can.

Remember: No one stays suicidal all of the time. It ends.

If you had brain cancer you would ask for help with ease. Asking for help with suicidal bipolar thoughts is no different.

Julie

PS: I had my first suicidal episode at 19. I am now 48. It can be managed.

Happy Halloween!

No caption needed.

Halloween countdown day five…..

OH NO! IT’s…. BACK! A.D.D Strikes Again

My ADD has simply been OUT OF CONTROL. I haven’t been able to work comfortably for two weeks- this led to the simple conclusion that my Ritalin isn’t working anymore. I increased the dose to 15mg and that is obviously not enough. I will try 20 mg tonight and if that doesn’t work, I will switch to Adderall. ADD is painful. It’s physically uncomfortable- mentally uncomfortable and embarrassing. It makes you feel stupid- as though you could do better if you just tried. I can’t believe I let this go for another week. I assumed it was me- I wrote about my social media OCD on facebook- and it’s all true- but the foundation for this is that my ADD has come back en force.

What to do? I have my techniques from Get it Done When You’re Depressed. For example, I put myself in a place I can work. I go to a fabulous restaurant with a friendly bar, low light and sports on the TV.

But the biggest thing is that there is no internet.

This is the best way for me to focus these days. I can remind myself that this is my brain and not me. I am actually extremely focused when my brain is firing correctly. So, I talked with my nurse practitioner and my coauthor John and we agreed that I would up the Ritalin and see if that made a difference. If not, I will switch to Adderall. I wish I could deal with this ADD on my own. I hoped it would go away when my depression got better. But I guess it stuck around because it just likes me too much! I will keep you posted on my progress.

I may write books on the topic, but my brain doesn’t care. It’s still mean!

If you have questions about ADD, please visit me on my facebook page at Julie A. Fast. I have become quite the expert in terms of natural treatments and medications.

Julie

PS: ADD is interesting. It only happens in certain situations. I have no problem at all when I’m coaching on the phone or speaking. It’s when I have to choose a project and then focus on the project. People with bipolar have to be careful about taking ADD meds. The only way we can take them is if we are on a mood stabilizer or anti psychotic. ADD meds can lead to mania- so careful planning is needed before the descion to use ADD meds is made.