Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

You can be happy for others, even when you’re depressed

It’s so hard to be generous when you feel like hell.

It’s hard to be happy for others when you’re so unhappy you feel like crying.

It’s hard not to be jealous when you see someone get what you can’t have.

It’s hard to say, ‘I’m so proud of you! Good job! You deserve it! I’m happy for you!” when you feel like your world is falling apart.

But guess what, you can teach yourself to be happy for others- even when you feel you can’t.

I call it ‘acting as if’.

When I’m unbelievably jealous of a friend, I first have to look inside myself and see where the jealousy comes from- it usually comes from depression. In fact, if I’m jealous and depressed and mean and nasty and then the friend starts having problems, I actually feel better! It’s awful and something I fight a lot! Jealousy not the real me.

It’s easy to be happy for others when I’m not depressed.

So, if I treat the depression, I can decrease the jealousy.

I tell a little lie when someone does something amazing and I just want to yell and scream at them that it’s not fair that they get what I can’t have because I have bipolar disorder!

I remind myself of how much I love the person who just got the good news and I say, ‘I’m jealous, but so proud of you.”

Julie

My Brother Ed Talks About My Bipolar Mania (and it’s not fun to hear what he has to say!)

I had a live mental health radio show in 2007.

Andy Behrman, the author of Electroboy was one of my favorite guests. It was a fantastic interview as it’s always great to two people with bipolar disorder to discuss the illness!

In order to prepare for the show, I asked my brother to tell me what it’s like to have a sister with bipolar disorder. I did the same with my friends- if you listen to the show, you can hear the letter my friend Karen wrote explaining how she helps me stay stable when I get manic.

Here is what my brother wrote when I asked him about my mania: That’s him grilling his freshly caught salmon!

Hmm…How to Deal with Julie’s Mania

Simple, blunt and to the point…

It’s hard to look for the signs that Julie has taught us with the Health Cards. Even after all of these years, a conversation with my mom about something Julie did will have me saying, “Of course! How could I not have noticed the tell tale behavior of the week!”

If I were a casual friend, then I would probably never bother with it and would write off our friendship as too much work. It takes a special (unique!) person to care, learn and follow through on what Julie needs from a good friend. Actually, as an older, middle age adult, I care more about relationships and other people’s feelings. I think I would be willing to put up with what Julie needs from a friend. As a young man. No way!
Julie’s qualities are worth it though! If it weren’t for those, I could see where some people with mental health issues would be out of luck!

Hmm. It’s interesting (and sometimes painful!) to read an honest assessment of your own behaviors. Ed and I have worked on our relationship for a long time. It took him a few years to even understand how the Health Cards work and why they are so essential to my health! He is a good brother.

This was written five years ago- it’s different now. I don’t have much mania any more. I’ve learned to manage it a lot better- especially with my new meds. I believe that his honesty is good for all of us who have mania. It we don’t manage it ourself- we wear people out! I don’t want to show his words to people- I feel like they make me look out of control! Of course, that is not what they say at all- and my behavior has not been out of control for many years.

It’s good to see that I have changed a lot since then. How about you today as compared to 2007? A loved one?

Julie

PS: You can hear my interview with Andy Berhman on itunes. If you go to the store and type in my name, all of the radio shows will come up. They are great!

Can you recognize the subtle signs of bipolar disorder hypomania?

My entire management plan is based off a simple and yet life changing concept. If you know what your bipolar disorder looks like- from the first minute symptom, you can catch and stop a mood swing before it goes too far. Here is an example using hypomania.

What is the first thing you say when you’re manic?

What is the first thing you do?

What is the first thing you think?

Here are mine:

Say: I’m not manic am I? No, this isn’t mania. It’s just feeling good.
Do: Drive quickly while listening to loud music. Banging my hands like the steering wheel is a drum.
Think: God, it’s so fantastic not to be depressed! This is the real me!

I have a lot of different bipolar hypomania patterns. Here’s another one:

Say: Life is boring. I really need to go out tonight and do a bit of drinking and have some fun!
Do: Drink in the afternoon- Mojito or a hard cider.
Think: I feel so much better and I’m looking really fantastic tonight.

When the above scenarios come after a depression and feel way too good, I know it’s hypomania.

Learning my subtle signs of hypomania changed my life- it’s easier to treat mania at the very beginning than let it grow into something more serious.

How about you? What are your first signs of hypomania?

Julie

PS: I talk about my management plan in this blog- I called the plan the Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder. The plan is the basis for all of my books and I still use my plan every day of the year and always will!

Click here to read more about the Health Cards.

Breakthrough Bipolar Mood Swings

Breakthrough mood swings happen when a mood swing is stronger than bipolar disorder medications.

I have a friend with bipolar I (one) who has been on lithium for over 15 years. It has worked well, but about every three years, a serious manic episode breaks through. Considering that she was mania free for so many years, she wasn’t ready for the last one.

As all people with Bipolar I (one) know, mania can be devastating. It’s so important that all of us look for bipolar disorder symptoms all of the time so that these mood swings can be caught early. If you’ve been on meds a long time, you still have to look for possible changes.

Julie

Click here to read more about the Health Cards. These are what I use to keep my mania from taking over my life.

Bipolar Happens! is #1 on the Kindle!

Bipolar Happens: 35 Tips and Tricks to Manage Bipolar Disorder is the #1 Bipolar Disorder Book on the Kindle!

That’s exciting. I went to the Kindle store to see how my books Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder were doing on the bipolar disorder page. These books are in the top ten ranking- and then I saw that Bipolar Happens! was #1.

Fantastic! Bipolar Happens! is an enjoyable book about a serious topic.

Guess what- it’s only $.99 I want it to be available to everyone.

Yes, I think this is a great deal and a good way to get helpful information about bipolar disorder at minimum cost. Bipolar Happens! was my first book. I knew I wanted to talk about how I manage the illness, but I also wanted to tell stories about how it affects my life daily.

There are stories about anger, manic spending, anxiety at a baseball game and what it feels like to be psychotic! It’s a book that family members love too. I love it myself. It’s hopeful.

Click here to go to amazon.com. You can read part of the book and then add it to your Kindle. Wow, $.99!

Julie

PS: If you’re new to my work, this is a great way to experience my writing style and the quality of my information. If you like it, you can come back for more.

Don’t Act on Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts are a normal part of depression- this means that you’ll have them no matter what you really think about a situation. I know I used to!

I was a negative @$#%.

You can fill that in with any word you like.

Nothing was ever good enough.

When I lived in Japan for three years- I complained for three years- I just can’t believe that people put up with me! It was awful- and now I feel I wasted so much time there with my anger and irritation.

In hindsight, most of this was due to untreated bipolar disorder. I still have some of the thoughts now- I still want to kick things and yell at people – but I just don’t do it. It’s a struggle- especially with email as it’s so easy to complain on email.

But I don’t do it! I truly try to step back and think before I do something stupid.
The thoughts are still there- my brain still races all night when I feel someone has done me wrong- or when I feel I’ve been treated unfairly- but it’s often just bipolar talking. I can listen, but I don’t have to act on the thoughts. This saves relationships and saves me a lot of stress.

Julie