This blog is a chronical of my severe rapid cycling- it helps me to write it and I’m glad it helps others. Two nights ago I was worn out and despondent and then I sat up and said to myself, “Enough of this. No matter what, you can still function. Just get going Julie. Deal with what is going on with your economic status and do what you can!” I felt better the next day and I feel even better today. I have to face facts head on- my life changed with the economy as it did for many, many people. Yes, it has caused great stress – which always leads to mood swings. But I have to deal with it.
My mom helped a lot in the months I couldn’t get the mood swings to stop. I managed to do all of the social things I usually do and that helped. Isn’t it odd a depressed person can go see people and be ok and then go down and start crying as soon as they get in the car! That tells me something about this illness- we have more control than we think. If we can feel better with people- we can harness that in order to manage our own brains when we can’t be around people.
Introverts and extroverts deal with bipolar disorder very, very differently. Bipolar disorder medications can affect a person’s desire to be with people as well. A friend of mine is on anti depressants for social anxiety and the change is amazing. He says he’s more able to go out and be around people- and talk to them!
I’m always interested in people who care about someone with this illness- as I have been there. Loving someone with bipolar I can be very scary, especially if they have a lot of mania.
Let’s be real about this illness- it’s rotten! I wish there were a cure and we could work and actually use our talents as much as we want! 😉
One day.
Julie
I have a question. Looking back at about eight months of journaling, I noticed that every two months or so, my entries suggest that I was depressed. It would appear that this is cycling every two months. Could this be accurate? Anything I can do to correct it? Yes, I will bring it up with my psychiatrist at the next appointment.
Thanks!
Hi Sandra,
Bipolar disorder is an episode illness- as compared to psychotic or personality disroders which are more stable over time. This means a person can have a few severe episodes and then none for a few years- or someone, like myself can have mood swings every day for years and years. I had 23 mood swings from the last part of April and all of May. It was not pleasant. I have rapid cycling bipolar disoder II with psychosis. Though the psychosis has been absent for a while.
If you’re cycling every two months- that’s pretty regular- so you should be able to pinpoint what is going on. There are a few things- hormones, the weather, triggers, medications or just the illness itself. This may be your pattern. I just did a podcast with my friend Sherri- I will put it on the blog soon- she talks about how she gets manic ever spring and depressed in the winter- like clockwork. I am defintely happier in the summer.
What matters is that you chart it. If you see a definite pattern of depression interlaced with mania- talk with your doctor about rapid cycling and make sure your meds are correct. Anti depressants can cause this rapid cycling. Also, mania can look like stress when it’s actually agitated mania. There is a lot more infomation on this blog about the different types of mania. There is a mania tab on the right that will take you to all of the entries.
It’s great that you’re seeing the patterns- it’s the best way to manage the illness. Julie