Depression vs. Sadness Part II
The problem with depression is that it takes away the FACTS.
Here is the first fact, I only feel down about my life when I’m depressed. Here are some more facts. This wonderful man is a dear friend, but I don’t want a relationship with him. It’s my choice! My house is small, but I’m still very proud to own a house. That’s quite an accomplishment when you couldn’t work for over five years! (before I started the Health Cards) The weather always sucks in Portland in the winter. And it was just as dark yesterday when I was having fun with my friend.
I’ve already talked to two friends and my mother and brother this morning, so the idea that I don’t have people who care about me is just stupid. Not having plans on a Friday night will not kill me- I can always find something to do! Money is a worry for many people, especially now- that is simply normal. My work is what I make it- I can take book deals and speaking engagements that make me happy instead of only focusing on making money. I made an extremely conscious decision to remain single until I was well enough and in a good place work wise as I know what havoc dating creates in my life. It’s a choice! I’m not happy I have to modify my life so much- and that makes me sad, but that’s a normal sad! I could go on and on here- because what I feel when I’m depressed is a distortion of the facts.
I want to stick to the facts. Writing this got me out of my downswing and I will do all I can today to keep the depression from coming back. I hate this illness and it will not ruin my life.
Julie
