This is a great comment about work, so I have to put it here. It’s inspirational to see that we all go through similar things- that’s because it’s an illness!
Hi Julie,
I can relate about work. I am a writer in a high-pressure full-time journalism job. I live with bpII with features of ADD and OCD. (Meds are Depakote and Strattera, with the possibility to soon add an anti-depressant, probably Prozac.) What I struggle with most along intellectual/spiritual lines is the fact that I seem to present myself many times as a person with dual and opposing facets. I am an intense, driven and proven successful person in my field with the penchant to pore over projects, revise, and not let go of them until deadline time is upon me, in a quest for full accuracy and near-perfection. Some would see me as “having it all together.” However, I’m also the person who has a hard time finishing those projects and who procrastinates to the Nth degree, even on exciting, desired projects. Some would see me as one who “can’t get it together.” It depends on when they are observing or interacting with me.
I really struggle with the duality of this illness. Spiritually, I struggle with the (false, in my faith walk) belief that I am “too broken” for God. I often feel my well self is “good” while my ill self is “bad.” This stems, I think, from me judging myself not on who I am or Whose I am (God’s), but instead on what I _do_ at any given moment. I don’t believe in my head that I am “too broken,” but my heart struggles with it every day.
Hi,
Thanks for this wonderful comment. Yes, we can struggle every day- that is for sure. But what matters is that we keep doing all we can to lessen the struggle until it’s only a few days a week, then a few weeks a month and possibly even just a few months a year! I am on the few days a week phase, but I always hope !:)
My book Get it Done When You’re Depressed helps a lot with work related procrastination and ADHD.
I’m very glad you can work! julie
