Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

I’m watching the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) fights with my brother Ed. We love hanging out once a month to watch the mma skills and have fun chatting and talking smack.  We usually go to a bar where there is a TV in each corner. I do ok in this environment. I’ve learned to just pick a spot and stick to one TV.

Unfortunately, our regular bar can no longer afford the $1200 the UFC wants to show the fights. (Astonishing!) So I’m here at a Buffalo Wild Wings. The people are nice- the TV is huge and I can actually hear the commentators. It’s going to be packed.

The problem?

My bipolar brain.

As you can see from the picture below, there isn’t one TV in a corner. There are TVs on every wall showing different channels. This leads to what I call:

Bipolar Swivel Head

My brain goes into overdrive and keeps looking at all of the TVs as though it’s going to miss something important. I- the real me- know that I simply need to focus on the large TV in front of me, but my brain doesn’t care what I want.

This leads to big time ADD symptoms, some anxiety and trouble enjoying the evening. And my brother isn’t even here to join me yet!

I know that visual overstimulation is the problem- it’s happened watching World Cup soccer friendlies last week. It’s very, very uncomfortable and I have to figure out what to do.

I know that having the kind of glasses they put on horses who have to walk in the city would help.  It’s not the sound that’s bothering me as much as the constant visual change on the screens. I actually rolled up a menu and looked through it to see if it made a difference if I could block out the screens on the side.

Absolutely!

I’m sure my brother would love it if I spent the evening looking through a menu tube.

What can I do?

The first step is the most important- I realize that this is a trigger for me. I’m not drinking, so that’s not an issue. I’m not meeting new people and I will be home around 10:15, so my sleep won’t be compromised.

The next step is to keep my eyes focused on the big screen. It has to be a conscious decision. When the swivel head starts, I must physically get my head back in a straight ahead position.

This may seem like overkill, but if I don’t take care of this now, the evening will be one of nervousness and anxiety which means even more trouble getting to sleep.

I won’t come back here next time- but I’m here now and I don’t want to tap out of my evening before it has even started. Ha!

Julie

PS:  AHA!

Update: 6/23/14  Great news- I am available for coaching again. I left this post up as an example of how I deal with the stresses of bipolar and work by limiting my work load when needed.  Julie

I’m finally accepting that I can’t be three people at once and will have to take a break from new clients in my coaching practice.  It’s by far my favorite work, but reality has to be faced!

For this reason, I posted the following on my coaching page:

Hello, thank you for visiting my coaching page.  My practice is currently full. I have a waiting list I want to complete before taking new clients. Please check my blog for news on when I will have available appointments. If you have already sent in a query, please know I will get to each one and you will hear from me soon. My book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder is an excellent overall book for parents and partners and my book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner speaks directly to partners. My newsletter also has many tips for partners and parents. Thank you for your patience and I hope we can connect in the future. Julie

Please do check back on this blog if you want to explore coaching in the future.  I hope to accept new clients in April. If you sent in a query and have not heard from me, this is due to the high volume of emails I receive weekly on the topic.  I will get to each and every one as I know how important it is to have help when you love someone with bipolar disorder.

Thank you,

Julie

Namaste, 

My name is Gayathri Ramprasad. I’m the author of the upcoming memoir from Hazelden Shadows in the Sun: Healing from Depression and Finding the Light Within. 

Julie and I have been friends and mental health colleagues for almost ten years. It’s exciting to finally announce that the book we originally discussed in a restaurant booth when we were both starting our mental health advocacy work is finally a reality.  The book comes out in March, but Julie wanted me to introduce myself to everyone before we talk more about the release.  

I was born and raised in Bangalore, India, amidst ancient traditions, and a large, loving extended family of twenty-three – grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. My happy childhood, however, gave way to a traumatic adolescence. By the time I was 18, I was debilitated by generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. At 23, as a young mother in America, I struggled to free myself from the death-hold of depression. 

On April 30, 1989, confined in the seclusion room in a psychiatric ward in America, stripped of freedom, dignity, hope and humanity, I promised to emerge a messenger of hope and healing. For every indignity that I had suffered in shame and silence, I promised to fight to restore my dignity and the dignity of others like me around the world. And for every moment that my family and I had lived in despair, I promised to bring hope to the lives of others like us. 

I dreamed of having a life where I could be a loving mother and wife as well as someone who could honestly tell her story. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I knew I would do everything I could to help others who went through and are going through what I experienced. I started a nonprofit called ASHA International- Julie is on the board! We promote cultural competence and mental health awareness.  Writing the memoir took many years. I’m glad I kept going and I hope I can encourage you if today is a tough day or if you care about someone who is having a hard time. We can get better.  I still deal with my depression and anxiety, but I now have tools to keep it managed.  I talk about all of this in the book.

Helping others has helped me heal and become whole again. 

ASHA literally means HOPE both in Sanskrit, one of the world’s most ancient languages which originated in India, and Hindi, India’s national language. In English, ASHA is an acronym for A Source of Hope for All touched by mental illness.  I look forward to telling you more about Shadows in the Sun. Check back for more information in the next few weeks!  

Wishing you wellness,

Gayathri

Click here to watch a video trailer about the book.

Click here to read more about ASHA International.

Click here to read more about Shadows in the Sun on Facebook!

A note from Julie: I’m so excited that this book will finally be available to the world! It’s the first memoir ever written by a woman from India that directly addresses mental health. Amazing!