Advice on sharing mental health experiences on Facebook. First, thank you for all of the questions I receive. I still have not found the perfect way to answer them all, but I can let you know I try to write as many blogs that cover the most commonly asked questions. I will do another FB Q&A soon. Here is one I get a lot:
Julie, how do you feel about sharing your mental health history on Facebook when you know that people you work with will see your posts?
Here is how I balance honesty without creating a situation where someone might have concerns about working with me.
1. I post after I have experienced a tough mood swing. I do not post in the middle. This is when I can be too emotional and when my posts might be unreasonable. What does this mean? It means that depression or mania are my constant companions, but my posts are usually a few days past the experience. If you see me writing about a specific symptom, please know it is not full blown when you read about it. I am in the process of getting better and no one has to worry about me. I stay away from Facebook if I am really sick. I have family, friends and a health care team for support.
2. I ALWAYS post what I am doing to get better. This is part of my management plan. Helping others helps me stay stable.
3. I never and I do mean never share the names of anyone I work with, talk to or care about who have hurt me. I do not do this passive aggressively either where I say something that is cryptic – nor do I humiliate or go after someone publicly who steals from me.
4. Everyone knows I have bipolar disorder because I am not embarrassed about having bipolar disorder. It is my job to never let my illness get in the way of my work. This is not always possible. Those who work closely with me have seen me fall apart many times, but people will never see this online.
5. Social media is permanent. I work with many organizations who absolutely DO look at what a potential collaborator or employee posts on Facebook. What you write affects who hires you.
Even if you have an account set to private or feel you are safe on a group that is closed, you are not. Everything you write can be seen. If work is important to you…if you want future friends and family members to see the reality of your life, it is fine to be honest, but if you want to be a professional writer, speaker, coach or hold any position that is in the public eye, people definitely look to Facebook to see what is going on in your private life. I believe that being honest while at the same time talking about what you are doing to get better is the answer.
It’s time to get clear on what we really know about brain scans and #bipolar. It’s so frustrating to read articles and studies about bipolar and brain imaging. At this time, there is NO brain image scan for the diagnosis of bipolar. Please do not pay someone who tells you that they can determine bipolar from an MRI or PET scan. It simply isn’t true.
This is nascent science. One study shows some grey matter thinning in 3000 patients, another shows ‘abnormal’ activity in the amygdala and frontal lobes. There is nothing definitive and even if someone did find a change in the brain, without having a management plan that works, the information is just that.. information.
Please remember that depression and bipolar disorder are mood disorders, but they are vastly different in presentation and treatment.
If you have mania, you have bipolar. You don’t need to pay for a brain scan to know if you have bipolar disorder. Spend your money on effective treatment, good therapy and feeling better.
Find a management plan that works for you. Use Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder or the WRAP program or any program that helps with mood swings. This is how you can successfully manage bipolar disorder.
Men and women are different. I call it the male/female continuum. All of my coaching clients know this topic well. We can’t treat men with bipolar the same way we treat women. I have posted an article below that has NOTHING to do with bipolar, but it has everything to do with how men think and what they like.
Of course, there will always be a few who are different, but after 8 years of coaching men and coaching women, I want to celebrate our differences.
Men need activity. Men need their male bonding. Men need THINGS. Men don’t talk as much. Men do sports to communicate. Men like to be with other men in large groups.
When looking for help for a MAN with bipolar, don’t expect them to respond in the way women do. Find blogs and books and websites that are for MEN.
The man in this picture is Jens Voight. He does not have bipolar. He is a guy and the article linked below is such a perfect example of how men think. Let’s learn from men and come up with a management plan that works for how they think.
Read this article and revel in the very maleness of it all. We need to celebrate men. If you are a man with bipolar and the ultra talkative approach to managing mental health is not working for you, think of what you need. What makes you happy? What works for you and then find a health care professional who can help.
Straight or gay- non binary or super DUDE, men are different from women and need special bipolar treatment.
I sometimes have a mood swing that tells me to SCREW IT ALL! It’s an aggressive and very physical feeling that makes me want to propel my body across a room and run into something. I feel very uncomfortable physically and my brain is very unsettled. The only word we have for it is dysphoric mania, but it’s not really mania as I am actually tired. Maybe we could call it…
NEGATIVE BODY ENERGY AFFECT
Here is how I deal with it.
I don’t listen to my brain when it says SCREW IT ALL. That is not how I feel. I like life and I want to have a good life.
I sleep.
I take my lithium orotate.
Do you get this restless- upset- physically uncomfortable feeling?
1. It is 24 hours. No one wants to hear this. There is no such thing as one time bipolar disorder management. It’s daily.
2. Triggers come from change. They are not positive or negative. Getting married can trigger as much bipolar as a death.
3. Medications are about 50% of any plan. Many of us can’t tolerate full medication regimes.
4. Stability is NOT possible within an abusive relationship.
5. If you hang out with unstable people, there is a good chance it will rub off on you and create mood swings.
6. If you are willing to make sacrifices, you can find stability and happiness. Doing what you want without consideration for bipolar will not create stability.
7. Hanging out with stable people is a really amazing experience that teaches us how to live a stable life.
I choose health. I’m learning what I want and need in life. We can get better and we can find happiness, love and financial stability. It takes a plan and it takes time, but we can do it.
I made a promise to myself that I would not allow #bipolar#mania to take over my life. I spent 20 years chasing euphoric mania and it never did an ounce of good overall. Today, I choose to fight my mania. It is not my friend. It is not happiness.
Euphoric mania lies to me. It wants to gamble, shop, sleep with hot guys, travel and go crazy. Not in my body!
Here is an interview I did with a Reuter’s author who wanted to explore the spending symptoms we have with mania.
PS: I am putting this video up even though I’ve been sick and look like a warmed up TV dinner. It’s important that we share when we are not feeling well.
Parent, Caregiver, Partner or Health Care Professional?
Enter your email below and sign up for Julie’s The Stable Lifestyle newsletter.
Mom Brain Podcast
Listen to Julie’s latest interview on bipolar disorder and mental health in children, teens and adults on the Mom Brain Podcast with Hilaria Baldwin and Daphne Oz.
The health information contained herein is provided for general education purposes only. This site should not be seen as a substitute for an official diagnosis or for professional health care.
