I got this comment when I woke up this morning. It’s a timely one as I’m having work issues myself! Here is the comment and my reply.
I have been diagnosed with bi-polar after 4 attempts at suicide. Im sat here now, wishing i was not here. Thinking things like my girlfriend could have someone who has loads of money, nice house ect… all the things i dont have. im very tired of life right now, and cannot see it getting any better, or my wealth changing.. definatly not in the near future!
The thing is, i know deep inside i am better than this. i know i can get a better paid job ect But and i dont know if it is having bi polar, i odnt have the courage to do go for another job. even though i know i can do it. its almost like voices in my head saying, nah, your useless, you cant do it so why bother.
Is this the bi-polar, or just something else.?
Hi,
It’s totally normal to be suicidal when you’re depressed. It’s also normal to feel worthless when you’re depressed! That is literally the definition of depression..
I was sick all day yesterday from work pressure. Those of us with bipolar disorder often have trouble working. I’ve had trouble with work all of my life. It really attacks your belief in yourself when you can’t work! The only way to get around this is to treat the bipolar first- this means trying for as long as it takes to find the right meds and then… here is the hard part- learn to manage the illness on your own. I do it daily. You have to have a treatment plan that works. My book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder has a plan as do my other books. I wrote them because I needed them.
You are NOT lazy. You have a serious, but ultimately treatable illness. Here are some ideas:
1. Decide to stay where you are right now- work wise- and spend the next three months focusing exclusively on bipolar management
2. Talk with your girlfriend and explain what bipolar is like- read my book together. Work together. Just as she would do – both of you would do if you had a physical illness.
3. When the voices start- no matter how strong they are- say, This is not me! This is bipolar disorder. And when I treat the bipolar disorder, i can make these voices go away.
Things DO get better. I am proof. I never thought I would work again- and now I work a lot. It isn’t easy and I still get sick, but I can work.
Bipolar Disorder Depression Sucks- that is for sure.
I was very sick today. It always shocks me how debilitating depression can be.
For much of the day I literally had trouble getting out of my chair. It felt like the batteries in my body were dead.
I desperately wanted and needed to work. I have so much to do- too much email and a lot of deadlines. I want to be a normal worker. I forced myself to get in my car and go to the library, but when I got there I was so uncomfortable I left. Finally, I put in a DVD and rested my brain. It was in what I call the civil war- you should do this, no do this, no do this, you’re a poor worker because you don’t do anything, you need to work, I can’t work today. On and on.
It’s awful. Isn’t it. If you have bipolar disorder, you’ve been there for sure.
I hate it. So, I remembered what I say in all of my books- if I want to get things done when I’m depressed, there are strategies I know will work. I just have to use them.
So I called my mom and I said, “I’m sick. I’m not functioning at all. Can you come over and help me clean my room?”
She came over and I immediately felt better. I kept having to sit down, but I at least got up and helped clean. I got something accomplished and it helped reduce my depression.
It’s almost time for bed, but I’ve reached my goal. I always want to go to bed feeling better than when I woke up. I’m crying a bit while I write this- but it’s ok. Being able to write is a real plus on a very difficult day.
hi, I often get letters from readers. I like to pass on the ones that show positive stories of how this illness CAN be treated. It takes a team- that is for sure!
Julie,
Thank you for doing this work.
Public, private and municipal awareness is essential.
So is education, school awareness.
You are amazing.
My 13 year old daughter has had an early diagnosis of early onset bipolar disorder and we have had treatment plans and interventions as needed in place for about 5 years now.
She is doing really well, is stable and we provide the best environment, prescribed meds and learning environment for her as possible.
Early detection and “labeling” for treatment and protocol purposes is essential.
It helps to detect, to understand and to treat appropriately.
Thank you for helping me to understand as a parent what exactly the cognizant pieces and self awareness that a BP person needs in order to ultimately help themselves.
I pass this on to my daughter, as she grows and is willing and able to listen and deal personally with her illness and indeed special needs.
Thank you for being a role model to young women with BP disorder.
I recently did an excellent radio/podcast interview with Deborah Harper of Psychjourney. We talked about the release of my new book, Get it Done When You’re Depressed.
Here is a link to our interview. She asked excellent questions and really knew her stuff. All writers dream of interviews that go this well! You can scroll down to see my interview.
I just received a great blog comment, so I will answer it here!
Just curious, Julie….I could be wrong as I’m just getting acquainted with you after hearing you speak recently, but in what I’ve read so far in your website/newsletter/blog writing, there’s a conspicuous absence of any sense of spiritual help for your bipolar issues. Is that a purposeful thing? Does faith of some kind have a place in the life of a bipolar person?
WriteWoman
Hi WW.
This is a great question. I’ve done a few newsletters on it. I know that many people find huge comfort, support and information from their spiritual community. I also know that some, like msyelf are not as connected to a group spiritually. I can also say that I’m not super spiritual individually. This is not from choice. I used to be very spiritual – in that I believed that there was a force that watched out for us and wanted good in the world.
My friends tend to have strong faith in this ‘power’ whether they are Christian, Hindu or more new age. I wish I were more like my friends! I think that over 13 years of constant depression have changed me in many ways. I had a few experiences that shook my beliefs! I do find that I’m getting back to my old self. As my bipolar gets better and better, I have more room for some kind of faith.
Having spiritual friends helps me a lot- they tell me I will be more open like I used to be in the past!
There is no question that the people I know with bipolar disorder are much more hopeful if they are spiritual. My friend Gayathri, who has been seriously depressed for most of her life meditates every day as does my friend Janea. My friend John D. regularly talks with what he calls God. He belives in Jesus as well- but doesn’t have a demonation. Others have a very private spirituality! Non of my friends are wiccan!
In the states, it’s so common to hear people say that things happen for a reason. This leads to many questions for those of us who have bipolar! I do have a strong belief, though I am not sure I would call it spiritual- I belive that while things may not happen for a reason, I do feel that we can find meaning in all things that happen. Maybe that is my form of spirituality!
Please feel free to add comments about your spirituality to this blog. I will ask my friends with bipolar disorder their views on spirituality and post them here!
“My greatest problem is Work. Please dedicate as much Time to work issues as possible. Most specifically, the alternative ways for people with BP (and other chronic illnesses) to survive and earn a living.”
I haven’t been able to work full time since 1995. I should say- I haven’t been able to work consistently since 1995. That changed last year when my meds and treatment plan just started working a lot better. I now face another problem. I’m able to work a lot more, but I don’t really know how to do it. I don’t have an office. I tend to drive around looking for places to work. When I have a good day I just want to hang out and enjoy it. There were SO few good days in the past. On the tough days, I have trouble focusing. I get overwhelmed with all I have to do- so I put it off.
It’s normal behavior. I wrote Get it Done When You’re Depressed for these exact reasons. I use the tips in it daily.
Today, I’m putting myself in a place I can work- the library. Things can improve time management wise. I also remind myself that like I say in the book, I don’t have to FEEL like working in order to get things done quickly and successfully.
As for full time work alternatives- there are many. The first of course is part time work. The problem is that part time work is often less than challenging. It’s a trade off. Stability vs. stimulating and rewarding work. I say, do the part time, less than challenging work WHILE you work 24 hours a day to manage the illness more effectively. You can then move into something more suited to your skills. I wish there were better answers, but my motto is treat bipolar first. Money and insurance are always a challenge. They are for me.
I worked part time for a long time. I wrote my books on part time. And then I got better. It took many years- but that was because I was creating a plan. Now that I have the plan- I write about it in all of my books- I can function more normally. You can definitely do the same, you just have to plan it carefully and give it time.
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