I’m amazed at how my lack of confidence in myself often gets in the way of new relationships.
If you don’t believe you’re good enough for someone, you will do everything possible to make sure you don’t get rejected by doing the following:
1. Never contacting the person even when they show signs of wanting to meet with you.
2. Stay with someone who is not right for you simply because it’s comfortable and the person won’t reject you.
3. Never ask a person to join you in a business deal because you are sure they would say no anyway!
Yes, the list is endless and I have to admit I have done a few of the above myself. I’m working on it. I have an exceptional business coach. She introduced me to one of her clients because she thought we would hit it off. I had lunch with her client and it was great. Here is the problem. This person has a far more glamorous life than many people. She travels a lot and does many exciting things! I thought to myself- she won’t want to hang out with me! So I didn’t call or ask her to meet again. Stupid! She is just a person! When I finally did call, she said, “Julie! I was hoping to hear from you. I wasn’t sure what happened.”
Lack of confidence. If I’m scared I will get a no in terms of new relationships. I promise myself I will double my efforts to at least contact the person to say hi. It builds character and boosts my relationship confidence every day! And here’s what’s funny- when I tell people about my lack of confidence they look at me like I’m crazy and say- but I felt that about you when I met you- I was scared to call you! We are weird creatures.
Julie
I know exactly what you’re talking about!
And I also knew, that living in a new city, I was never going to get out of the depression I’m still recovering from if I didn’t start developing relationships with people here.
I made a commitment that this semester I’d make a concerted effort. So I’ve been forcing myself to act as if people have every reason in the world to want to hang out with me, work with me, etc., and am getting very positive responses. I’ve even started joining meetup groups and getting together with people I don’t know at all. I think I might finally be getting close to the point in recovery where I can also start to reach for relationships with specific people I think highly of (in the “better than me” category), and might want to work with, etc. It’s a process…
Man, nothing has taught me how to “fake it til you make it” like this illness… Sometimes I wish I could put on my resume: SURVIVED MANIC DEPRESSION! That ought to get an awful lot of points for strength of character! Phew.
Michele
I love this story- I’m going to put it at the top of the blog! It gives me confidence as well. Julie
I can totally relate to the fake it till u make it comment ..I am doing that right now…I moved 3yrs ago to a bigger city away from my mom and extended family and have been a depressed lump. But the main reason I wanted to write a comment was because i thought i was the only one who was scared to make phone calls…thanks so much…stacie
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Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Chrome. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design look great though! Hope you get the problem fixed soon. Cheers
Thank you! I sent your message to my webmaster. All of these new browsers should get together and set a standard! Julie