Please make a decision for me!
When I have trouble focusing, I’ve learned to ask others to make decisions for me. I’ve trained the people in my life to just go ahead with what they want to do and I will follow along. What do you want for dinner? I don’t care- you choose. What movie do you want to see? Let me know some choices and I’ll give you my choices. I let others drive, plan parties and do what they want- on the days that I’m having trouble making decisions.
On the days that I’m fine, I make my own decisions- but when the depression and ADHD are here, I say- I don’t care what I do- just help me do something!
It works. I’m also a much more relaxed person around my friends and they appreciate that.
Julie
In my family and also with many friends I am the planner. When I am having an episode I can’t do that. In ’07 I was hospitalize for 72 hours during mother’s day weekend. After getting out I told my husband that I wasn’t going to plan things for the summer, but if he wanted to do stuff I would do it with him. We did NOTHING. While backing off of things right after a major episode is good I found doing nothing very boring. I also feel like I’m letting people down when I’m not in my social planning role. I’m starting to be okay with it. Other people can take their turn planning. My husband today planned a spontaeous get together with friends. So he’s come along way from 1.5 years ago.
Hi, Julie!
Just read your blog where you refer to having ADHD. ADDvance.com is a great website, particularly for women with ADD/ADHD. Patricia Quinn is an expert in ADD/ADHD issues, especially for girls and women. Think you’ll like the advice and suggested readings the site offers.
I don’t have ADD, but most of my students do!
Sandra
Hi Sandra,
Thanks for this resource. I don’t have a diagnosis of ADD. People with bipolar almost always have signs of ADD, but not an actual diagnosis. If a person has strong ADD symptoms when they are stable, there may be a separate diagnosis. Most of us only have the symptoms when we are in a mood swing. It also happens to me when my meds are off.
Thanks!
Julie