I am having a tough time.. what to say, who to tell!

Well, it’s always a challenge to know when to be honest and when to be sort of honest or when to lie!

I’m refereing to how I tell people if I’m depressed. It really depends on a lot of things. How is the person I’m talking to doing? Do they need to hear what I’m going through or do I just need to listen to them? How do I present my situation? Is it possible I’m overwhleming them?

I learned a long time ago to spread out my depression talk in order to keep my friendships balanced. If I’m always asking for help from friends without giving them anything in return, I become a problem and not a friend. I’ve wrecked quite a few friendships this way. If someone asks me, ‘How are you?’ and my answer is always, ‘I’m really depressed!’ then who in the heck wants to talk to me! People want to help, but they have to see progress in the person they are helping.

I bring this up because I’m not doing very well today. It was worse yesterday, but today is more of the same. I’m snowed in. 100% snowed in. I am looking out my window and all I can see is show and half buried cars. I live in Portland, Oregon and this is the worst storm in over ten years. I manage my bipolar disorder by getting out in society and feeding off the energy of others – yikes, that makes me sound like a vampire! So when I’m truly stuck inside, it’s hard for me. I have to decide how I want my day to go and then decide what I will say when I talk to friends. They all understand my depression, so I can defintely talk about it, but I think today is a day to listen to them and see what they are going through. That will bring me up without bringing them down.

Julie