Mania is a strange thing. It completely takes away reasoning if you let it. Last night, I went into a mild upswing around 10PM, but I was able to keep it in check. I knew it was there as it’s been happening all week. While I was in bed reading and writing in my journal, I suddenly had the strong urge to go to karaoke and drink! It just felt like such a good idea. It was fleeting, and of course I didn’t act on it, but god almighty, that is ridiculous. Especially considering that I have cut my social activities in half in order to stay stable enough to work.
I stayed in bed and managed to sleep with the help of Ativan and a little extra Lamictal. But it worries me.
julie
julie, i am new to all this. i was diagnosed a few months ago with bipolar. it felt so good to read your blog about last night! i do that, too! i think of some crazy things to do at weird times. i am glad my husband is sleeping at times or i’d drag out the vacuum and start cleaning. it seems after 10p is my upswing to the cleaning mode!
question. i know my father is MAJOR bipolar (he has never been diagnosed but my dr. is sure that my dad is bipolar just by my stories) and i was just diagnosed after almost 15 years of searching for the right answer. can some of what i do be learned behavior?? thanks. i love everything i am learning from you! you are my life raft in a deep, deep ocean right now. i appreciate you very much for your honesty…you are talking to me girl! take care. debbie