I’ve been up and down lately and amazingly, more up than down! I could say HALLAJUILIULA (really, where does our spelling come from!) or I could do what I’m doing. I’m getting home early and watching Dancing with the Stars. I’m avoiding stimulating situations such as karaoke or dinner parties. I’m aware that I’m on the cusp of not sleeping. I’m using my Ativan instead of trying to force myself to sleep. There is a lot I can do now before it goes so far.
Here are my subtle signs of mania: I’d be interested to know yours.
#1. Cooking. I cook a lot more when I’m manic and I often make pretty complex dishes. Today I made chicken Marsala. I then tend to cook a lot of dishes to go with it, but I stopped myself today.
#2. I chop too quickly and tend to fling knives and cutting boards around when I’m washing them. I cut my finger today.
#3. Music sounds good- normally I find music depressing – as I once heard someone describe mania- everything becomes interesting when you’re manic!
#4. I don’t have a problem with the dark weather – though just a few days ago this weather depressed me.
The list goes on and on. If you don’t have bipolar disorder, you may say, “But I do this stuff all of the time and I’m not manic!”
That’s what makes bipolar disorder so hard to understand. People do experience what we experience, but to a different degree. Also, people tend to have patterns that make sense. My change from not being able to work just a few weeks ago, to being able to jam for hours all day and then not be able to sleep is a sign that I’m not stable.
I am going to use this hypomania to my advantage by getting my 200+ email taken care of.
What is your current mood swing? Are you stable? If you care about someone with the illness, can you tell when they’re manic?
Julie
You asked about signs of mania/hypomania. I find this is one of the most difficult things for me to identify, although my friends can do so quite easily! I have figured out a few, however:
1. I tend to want to spend more money than I really should. I’ve learned to go shopping at Goodwill and have fun buying some truly neat items there!
2. I should just look at my calendar to figure out if I’m manic! In July, it’s a wonder I had time to breathe, I had so much scheduled!
3. One time, I just couldn’t get enough of quilting! I worked on several projects at a time and even made a quilt for a retirement gift for a staff member at our school – in less than six weeks! Yes, it was a lovely accomplishment, but I was exhausted by the efforts!
I am blessed with a wonderfully supportive work environment. After working there for three years, I finally had the courage – and trusted the staff enough – to share with two of my supervisors that I have BP. They asked what they could do to help, and I told them that the one thing I have a tough time identifying was when I was in a hypomanic state. (I had to explain what it was and how I know it’s manifesting itself in me.) I feel relieved that they know, as there may be occasions when I’ll need a little extra support to ward off possible triggers and they’ll understand completely that they’re needed!
Hi Julie
I’m pretty level today, but your post makes me want to get up there again and get something done! Watch those knives!
Wow. I read the first thing on your list and it is the same as my list. I scour cookbooks and come up with the most complex multi-dish meals I can find and then go nuts in the kitchen. I think I’m Julia Child and my family thinks I’m overdoing it which just makes me mad. Its SO good to know I’m not alone.
I am straddling the line between hypomanic and manic right now. I was very dysphoric a few weeks ago–angry and tense and everything yucky. Now I’m just very talkative and busy, busy, busy! Here are some of my signs/current symptoms:
1. Spending too much money: Classic sign. No need to say more.
2. Increase in creative activities: I spent nearly $100 at the craft store in one day and have been making magnets, hat pins, brooches, etc. for the past two week.
3. Being more social: I’ve started to go out with my female friends much more rather than hanging out at home with my husband.
4. To-Dos running through my head: I guess this could be called “flurry of ideas,” another classic sign. This happens especially in the morning when I’m getting ready. I have to grab my phone/organizer and write down all my lists and ideas and things to do. It gets kind of irritating, actually. I’m always late to work now!
But other than this I feel good; not too frenzied but with much more energy and optimism. I can deal with this . . . so long as it doesn’t escalate!
I just thought of other things I’ve done in the past that are really quite funny. In college (before being diagnosed) a friend and I tore down the faux-wood paneling in her bedroom, patched the sheetrock, texturized the walls and painted them–all in the middle of the night!
I’ve also danced on tables at parties (while completely sober, mind you) and other assorted “wild child” activities. My favorite was when I dug up a waterski rope, attached it to my scooter, and pulled my friends around campus on skateboards and longboards. GOOD TIMES!!!