This illness is so much more than depression and mania. Most people with bipolar disorder have anxiety – and one of the main types of anxiety is obsessive compulsive disorder. I have it often and it’s awful! It’s triggered by so many things- like where I am right now. I love football and watch as many games as possible. The problem is that there are so many games on at once. The place I go has a lot of people and there are more than five games going at once. Everyone wants to watch their own team, so the bartender Kim has to do a dance every Sunday to try to please everyone.
This environment is one I truly love- but it’s also one that makes me ill. Unfair! My symptoms include:
1. Twisting my head all over the place to look at too many games.
2. Checking my phone to see if someone has called.
3. Unable to stay off my computer- so checking it too much.
Etc. Etc. So I have made some changes. No one likes OCD symptoms. They are difficult to manage once their start- so it makes a LOT more sense to prevent them. Here is how I counteract the OCD.
#1 I keep out of what games go on the TV. Kim asks my opinion and I always say what I would prefer and then let the crowd decide.
#2 I turn off my phone.
#3 I would like to say I don’t bring my computer, but obviously I do. I’m not going to bring it next time. I don’t play fantasy football, so it’s not like I need it! And I say I will work, but I don’t.
I know I don’t have to come here, but I love the environment and the people. It’s up to me to make changes so that my bipolar can handle the enviornment. It’s a weekly challenge. I wish I were different, but it’s my reality.
How about you? Do you have OCD? Do you know someone with OCD? It’s missed a lot!
Julie
PS: This computer goes off right now!
I’m trying to get over the irritation, but you would think a doctor would have better sense. I went to a pulmanologist at my psych doctor’s request as I was having asthma like symptoms and trouble catching my breath. She didn’t think it was psychological but gave me some anti anxiety pills which didn’t help at all. The pulmanologist said I didn’t have COPD and showed me the x-ray and commented on an enlarged heart. I asked if it could have something to do with a cardio problem and he said, more likely the nervous system. I asked what he meant and he said panic attacks. I feel like I’m in a box labeled all parts are bipolar so nothing else is important. I feel bad that I’m still irritated and I know the value of forgiveness. I just feel like I was dismissed. I know I will get over it, but I wonder about the next bipolar patient this dr sees.