Hi Julie<\/p>\n
I am in a manic state right now and it feels so good after being severely depressed for over two years. At this time I am doing something that is both destructive and dishonest. I am “talking to\/dating” four men at the same time (three of them have expressed their love and desire for long term relationships with me). While most of our recent interaction has been over the internet and telephone I have arranged visits with all of them. They are not strangers to me (I have known them all for many years) and I know this behavior and perhaps our friendships have got to stop. The problem is I don’t know how to tell these men that I can’t be involved with them anymore with out hurting them and making myself look absolutely foolish and of poor moral character (so far I have had sex with three of them). Two of the men are aware that I have bipolar illness but I don’t know if they know about the hypersexual behavior that can accompany mania. I know this behavior is wrong I just can’t seem to put an end to it. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.\\<\/p>\n
Thanks Manic,Hypersexual, and Ashamed<\/p>\n
From Julie: First of all, there is no need at all to be ashamed. You’re manic and this is 100% manic behavior. I dated three men at once during a manic episode in Japan when I was 23 years old. It was a blast at the time- I didn’t know I had\u00a0 bipolar disorder. But\u00a0 wow, it was terrible when it ended. All of the relationships ended when I got depressed. That is the first thing I want to stress- manic episodes inevitably go into depression and waking out of the manic fog and seeing what has happened is devastating. Been there and done that for 20 years.\u00a0 I don’t do it anymore. It’s too destructive. I still get manic and have all of the sexual mess that goes with it- but I control it. You can do the same.<\/p>\n
You are well enough and clear enough to write the blog- this means you know the mania is about to ruin a lot of\u00a0 things in your life. When you’re super manic, you aren’t asking for help from others who understand. Here is my advice- and it’s strong advice. Think of teh following:<\/p>\n
1. If you try to be with three, it can’t survive. You will lose all of them eventualyl if you don’t take care of it now. Three men is not sustainable.<\/p>\n
2. When you inevitably come down- not one of them will want to deal with it unless you explain what happened. I have had too many men who met me while manic and lived with me when I got depressed. That was not a fair deal for them!<\/p>\n
3. Stop now. Literally stop. Call your doctor and say you’re manic. Get help and check your meds. Period.<\/p>\n
4. Think about STD”s. ICKY ICKY ICKY STD’s!\u00a0 So say to yourself, “I’m manic and sex feels so good right now- but I don’t know what I’m doing and what may happen. I make a vow to say no to sex until I am stable.” Sounds impossible, but I’ve done it and let me tel you, it’s difficlut. But I saved my\u00a0ffuture by doing it.<\/p>\n
5.\u00a0 Remind yourself that you’re an attractive and wonderful woman which is why these men are so attracted to you. Why\u00a0wouldn’t you be able to rationally date these men when you get better. Will they understand if you tell them the truth right now? The one that does is a good one as he will have to live with your bipolar. Might as well tell them the truth now and ask for their help. Let’s stop letting ourselves lure nice people into our manic web! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
6. Everything looks good when you’re manic. Your attraction to the sex and these men can be all mania and not real. So, think of that now. What if you make some kind of decision now that is based off mania and not real attraction. Not good!<\/p>\n
And finally, you are amazing. You wrote the blog. You have so much insight and can see what’s going on. GOOD FOR YOU. Many of us let it ride a long time and don’t do anything about it until we come down.<\/p>\n
You are an inpiration. Look at the email\u00a0 you wrote and underline all of the stuff that is upsetting you and stop it. The people who care about you will 100% still be there. I always tell my friends I’m manic- then they can help me come down and stay out of trouble.<\/p>\n
You are stong! There is no shame in having bipolar disorder. It’s an illness and you can 100% make the right decisions. I believe in you.<\/p>\n
**<\/p>\n
Ok readers.\u00a0 Any stories of manic episodes you got out of and saved a lot of pain. Advice?\u00a0 I know whatever you have to say will help! There is a comments button at the bottom of this post.<\/p>\n
Julie<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi Julie<\/p>\n
I am in a manic state right now and it feels so good after being severely depressed for over two years. At this time I am doing something that is both destructive and dishonest. I am “talking to\/dating” four men at the same time (three of them have expressed their love and desire for long term relationships with me). While most of our recent interaction has been over the internet and telephone I have arranged visits with all of them. They are not strangers to me (I have known them all for many years) and I know this behavior and perhaps our friendships have got to stop. The problem is I don’t know how to tell these men that I can’t be involved with them anymore with out hurting them and making myself look absolutely foolish and of poor moral character (so far I have had sex with three of them). Two of [ Read More ]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1874"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1874"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1874\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11786,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1874\/revisions\/11786"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}