My mom and I are very close. I see her every day. She and my nephew are the reasons I live in Portland, Oregon.\u00a0 This morning I called her from the place I watch football and asked her to bring me some cash as I forgot mine at home.\u00a0 I told her the story of how I spent five dollars to help a guy with schizophrenia buy some food. He got a grapefruit, a lime, a small pear and some espresso bean chocolate.\u00a0<\/p>\n
After I told her this, she said, “Are you manic Julie! You do this when you’re manic!” I said, “AM I MANIC!” and she said, “You always say you’re not manic when you’re manic.”\u00a0 I got very upset. Not because of what she was saying. We use my Health Cards treatment plan together and she is always supposed to tell me when she thinks I’m manic. I got upset because I am very far from manic. For the past few days I’ve been profoundly depressed. I was up for a few days than a few of semi stability and then I felt the depression creeping in. So I did what I always do- I get out the ideas in Get it Done When You’re Depressed and I use them.\u00a0 All day- every minute of the day. This means it’s hard for people to tell I’m depressed. I believe in acting as if I am well and getting on with my life.<\/p>\n
My mom is my greatest support, but I simply can’t burden her with this illness all of the time. I keep a lot from her- because telling her that I’m depressed and worried and having trouble working is pointless- because I am in that mood off and on for a large portion of my days. I just work through it. I have other people to talk to. But overall, I believe that it’s up to me to use my management plan so that I can have normal relationships- and I have succeeded in this and it’s hard.<\/p>\n
I said to my mom, “I know you are helping me and I know you see the signs of mania- but what you are actually seeing is my trying hard not to let the depression take over my day. I’m going to get out of this today and have a good day- so I am cheerful and active. That is how I get better. :<\/p>\n
She said, “But you have to tell me when you’re sick- I want to know. How can I know how to help you if you don’t tell\u00a0 me how depressed you are? ”<\/p>\n
I said, “Because what helps me the most is going to your house and seeing the beautiful backyard and Cookie and hanging out. That is what helps me.”<\/p>\n
So, dear readers. As you can see- this is hard on all sides. But I stick to my plan of always doing my best to manage this illness first and then asking for help when I need it. Otherwise, I would overwhelm too many people. It’s a balance. I think she understands.<\/p>\n
Right now I am doing well. I am watching football and the weather is nice. I may even see my brother this afternoon. I believe I am the keeper of my wellness if that makes sense. My motto is treat bipolar first, and then I can go out into the world and get help when I need it! This is how I get so much done and have a life that is not always controlled by bipolar disorder. It is possible.<\/p>\n
Julie<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My mom and I are very close. I see her every day. She and my nephew are the reasons I live in Portland, Oregon. This morning I called her from the place I watch football and asked her to bring me some cash as I forgot mine at home. I told her the story of how I spent five dollars to help a guy with schizophrenia buy some food. He got a grapefruit, a lime, a small pear and some espresso bean chocolate. <\/p>\n
After I told her this, she said, “Are you manic Julie! You do this when you’re manic!” I said, “AM I MANIC!” and she said, “You always say you’re not manic when you’re manic.” I got very upset. Not because of what she was saying. We use my Health Cards treatment plan together and she is always supposed to tell me when she thinks I’m manic. I got upset because I [ Read More ]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1791"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1791"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1791\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11794,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1791\/revisions\/11794"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1791"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1791"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1791"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}