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I would like to share the plan I use to manage and live with psychotic, suicidal thoughts.<\/p>\n
My first suicidal thoughts were at age 19 after a breakup. I didn\u2019t know I had bipolar and a psychotic disorder.<\/p>\n
The thoughts were so shocking and so different than anything I had ever experienced, I simply assumed that everyone had them and I just didn\u2019t know how to manage it very well.<\/p>\n
That shows you how not talking about suicidal thoughts in the general public keeps so many of us in the dark when it comes to the workings of our brains.<\/p>\n
I remember all of my suicidal episodes. It is such a profound experience that a person can\u2019t understand it unless they\u2019ve been through it.<\/p>\n
I manage these thoughts through the plan I use in my books:<\/p>\n
1️⃣I know exactly what my suicidal thoughts say to me. They really don\u2019t change.<\/p>\n
2️⃣ As soon as they show up, I have a plan ready that includes talking back to the suicidal thoughts, checking my meds and asking for help if needed.<\/p>\n
3️⃣ When I say we can learn to live with suicidal thoughts, this doesn\u2019t mean that I don\u2019t try every day to prevent them. But when they show up, especially accompanied by psychosis, I am ready for them.<\/p>\n
What if we approach suicidal thoughts in the same way we approach a diabetic crisis?<\/p>\n
I have a friend with insulin dependent diabetes and watched her go through an insulin crisis while she was sitting in front of me.<\/p>\n
Her lips went gray. She started to pass out. But during this whole thing she was telling me what she needed. Her husband was in the other room. I called for him and he did exactly what they do every time this happens. They had a plan.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s no different when someone with bipolar disorder or depression has suicidal thoughts.<\/p>\n
Our brain chemistry isn\u2019t working. These thoughts are normal when we\u2019re sick and if we have a managementment plan in place we can tolerate and manage the thoughts. Tolerating means feeling the pain and knowing it is illness.<\/p>\n
I know the pain and fear of suicidal episodes. I manage them in the same way I manage all bipolar symptoms.<\/p>\n
We can do this.<\/p>\n