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This article was originally published in BP Magazine.<\/a><\/p>\n I used to think that being alone was a strength. I grew up with the very 1980s idea that \u201cwe have to learn to be alone in order to really be with another person.\u201d I now believe that for people with bipolar depression<\/a>, the opposite is true\u2014we need human contact to get us out of a down mood swing.<\/p>\n Depression makes me isolate. It makes me see the phone as an instrument of torture. I turn to social media instead of reaching out to live human beings. Depression tells me that being alone is all I deserve and that life is a lonely path I travel without support or love. Wow, I\u2019m stable as I write this and it\u2019s obvious to me that it makes no sense. But when I\u2019m depressed? Totally believe it. Here\u2019s a recent example in my life:<\/p>\n I\u2019m depressed. I need contact, but I can\u2019t reach out. I\u2019m lying in my bed watching another British mystery while there are three messages from friends on my phone. I have the thought, \u201cNo one cares about me, which is why no one is calling me. I\u2019m destined to be alone, lying on a bed in a dark room instead of getting out in the world. This is my life and it\u2019s horrible.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n What is wrong with this picture? So much! It\u2019s not rational. At the exact moment that my brain is telling me I have no friends and will be alone forever, I have multiple messages from people who care about me and are waiting for me to respond. Surprise: depression isn\u2019t rational.<\/p>\n This isn\u2019t loneliness! It\u2019s illness<\/em>. This is what I call \u201cdepression isolation.\u201d<\/p>\n My depressed brain isn\u2019t a good reporter. It lies and tells me information that is in direct contrast to what is happening in the real world. The worst part is, when I\u2019m depressed I listen to my ill brain instead of listening to the messages from my good friends.<\/p>\n When I\u2019m stable, life moves forward with ease. I answer my phone. I make plans. I don\u2019t cry and worry and ruminate over my past. Stability is my goal in life.<\/p>\n Here are two things I\u2019ve taught myself to do when I realize I\u2019m sitting alone in my room instead of interacting with life. It\u2019s never easy, and on some days I\u2019m lucky if I can do one, but I will always try until I\u2019m better.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re depressed right now, pat yourself on the back for reading this! You have already started the process of getting out of your depression by looking for help<\/em>. If you love someone with bipolar who is isolating, create a plan on your own and then show it to them when they are well. Go over and see them\u2014in person, face to face. Send them a hand-written card\u2014through the mail, not online. Slip a note under their door. Do something real to show them you\u2019re right here whenever they come out of the fog of isolation. And most importantly, whether for yourself or for someone you love, start now<\/em> and put a plan in place to prevent the mood swing from getting so far the next time.<\/p>\n The \u201980s were an interesting time in many ways, and I did learn to be a strong woman. But not every lesson I learned back then was right. There\u2019s a difference between learning to be alone, and feeling isolated and unlovable. When I\u2019m depressed, the answer to isolation is people. Who\u2019s with me?<\/p>\n This article was originally published in BP Magazine.<\/a><\/p>\n I used to think that being alone was a strength. I grew up with the very 1980s idea that \u201cwe have to learn to be alone in order to really be with another person.\u201d I now believe that for people with bipolar depression<\/a>, the opposite is true\u2014we need human contact to get us out of a down mood swing.<\/p>\n Depression makes me isolate. It makes me see the phone as an instrument of torture. I turn to social media instead of reaching out to live human beings. Depression tells me that being alone is all I deserve and that life is a lonely path I travel without support or love. Wow, I\u2019m stable as [ Read More ]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13116,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[],"tags":[118],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13115"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13115"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13115\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13117,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13115\/revisions\/13117"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13116"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
Julie<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h1>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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