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The following is my blog from Bp Magazine. It starts like this….<\/p>\n
My brain has an extra groove when I\u2019m depressed. \u00a0This mood swing opens a channel where music\u00a0and conversations are recorded and played back over and over and over again. I then fly back to my past and dwell on what went wrong and feel an incredible sadness.<\/p>\n
My latest depression happened while I was revisiting the original Broadway cast recording of Evita with Patti Lupone and Mandy Patinkin. I am not saying this caused my depression (haha), but it was in my ears when the down swing hit.<\/p>\n
One line from one song got stuck in my head: \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter what the morons say\u2026.\u201d It started to loop. I heard bits of the music and then the words, then the music and then the words.<\/p>\n
As the depression progressed, my brain took me back to my failed relationship with my first husband that was ended by my bipolar disorder. Normally, when I think of this wonderful man it is with a tinge of sadness, but nothing overwhelming. When depressed, it\u2019s a fresh wound. Then, my brain, my out of whack depressed brain took me back to my first boyfriend whom I met when 19. At the time, I was manic and then was dumped for being too emotional and young. This was the start of my first serious depression. I looked up his picture on the internet. What a mess.<\/p>\n
Why am I telling you this? Because I DO NOT have these thoughts nor do I dwell on the past when stable. Music isn\u2019t looping and I don\u2019t cry<\/a> all of the time. \u00a0These are depression symptoms. If I let myself get too into the music or the thoughts, I will loose my mind and the depression will take hold of my life as it did in the past.<\/p>\n Music is always a part of my depression. I hear the notes differently when depressed. All of the minor keys stick out and I find myself thinking of sad movies like Brokeback Mountain and the music that accompanied the sad scenes. It\u2019s obsessive. I hate it.<\/p>\n So I fight it. I know my depression very well. It has been my companion for over 30 years. It is not a friend. Maybe it is a teacher, but it is not allowed to stick around.<\/p>\n Sometimes it\u2019s so severe, I feel that I am buried in mud. But this is not a depressing post.<\/p>\n This is a positive story to show you how I fight this monster and stop the music looping\u2014and the insane dwelling on my past loves. This is what I do every minute that I can when the depression strikes:<\/p>\n And then I give you ideas on how you can stop these symptoms as well! Julie<\/p>\n Click here to read Music Tracking and Obsessive Thoughts in Bipolar Disorder from the Bp Magazine Website.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The following is my blog from Bp Magazine. It starts like this….<\/p>\n My brain has an extra groove when I\u2019m depressed. This mood swing opens a channel where music and conversations are recorded and played back over and over and over again. I then fly back to my past and dwell on what went wrong and feel an incredible sadness.<\/p>\n My latest depression happened while I was revisiting the original Broadway cast recording of Evita with Patti Lupone and Mandy Patinkin. I am not saying this caused my depression (haha), but it was in my ears when the down swing hit.<\/p>\n One line from one song got stuck in my head: \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter what the morons say\u2026.\u201d It started to loop. I heard bits of the music and then the words, then [ Read More ]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10955"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10955"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10955\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10957,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10955\/revisions\/10957"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10955"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10955"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bipolarhappens.com\/bhblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10955"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/p>\n