People
often bristle when I say - I just want
to be normal! "What is normal?"
they ask. Or, "Is anyone normal?"
- implying that I am normal and I just
don't realize it. It's a way that even
well meaning therapists, doctors and society
try to tell mentally ill people to just
get over it! No one is normal, they say.
Oh yes! There are plenty of normal people
out there. How do I know? Because I know
what it means NOT to be normal.
It is not normal to wake up and feel
guilty, but you can't figure out what
you have done. It is not normal to have
never held down a job for more than two
years. It is not normal to take eight
years to finish college. It is not normal
to hear voices that say, "You suck
and should die!" It is not normal
to see rats scurrying around the dinner
table chairs. It is not normal to think
that you have no friends and so you write
all the friends you do have and tell them
that they do not really like you. It is
not not not normal to be depressed all
of the time and it is not normal to spend
all of your money and have really stupid
and dangerous sex. Normal people think
about one or two things at once- they
do not have twenty thoughts whirring around
like the brain in a blender. This is not
normal. I am not normal.
But I now know what normal feels like
and I try to copy it. Normal is to wake
up and just wake up and get on with things.
Normal is to see people and have fun and
go home and have a life. Normal is not
about breaking down every single behavior
to look for meaning - especially your
own. It is not about crying from the stress
of too many people in a super market.
Normal is having fun and appreciating
your own talents. It is not about hearing
voices that say "You are a fake and
you will never be successful." Normal
people live day to day- people like us
live in the past and feel no hope for
the future. Normal people have a lot of
problems, but they do not think- if I
walk in front of that car it will all
be better instantly. Normal people do
not hear a voice that says "I would
rather be dead." Normal people are
normal. I like normal people and I want
to be one! That is why I do the tools
in this program. Normal is wonderful.
Normal is possible. I am going to be normal.
