In April of 1994, I went to court to commit my partner Ivan to the psychiatric ward. He was soon diagnosed with Bipolar I. One year later, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II and went into a hospital day program. If you are dealing with the psych ward right now, I know what you are going through. I know the extreme and I mean extreme fear you feel when you see the person you love become someone you don't know. And if you are the one in the hospital, I know the fear you feel because you are so sick. I also know that people survive hospitalization. In fact, they survive, get help and get their lives back. Ivan and I did. And you can too.

I want to help people get through the trauma of putting a loved one in the hospital. I want to let you know it doesn't have to be traumatic. It doesn't have to be horrifying and scary. The secret is to know what to expect. One of the main problems we face when we check someone into the hospital is that the staff doesn't tell us enough. It would be so easy for them to give us a handbook as to what to expect, but they leave us in the dark. Why? Why are we forgotten? I am here to tell you that there are certain things you can expect when you check someone into the psychiatric ward of a hospital. It may seem that your loved one is different from everyone else, but I assure you he or she is not. There is a definite pattern to hospitalization and when you know that pattern it's not nearly so scary. Click here to read a letter from Erin describing the hospitalization of her partner Zach and how my work helped her through the crisis. This can be a terrible time, I know. But it does end and things do get back to normal. I know this from experience.

Below is an excerpt from my book Bipolar Happens! regarding hospitalization.

I believe that if a large portion of the people with bipolar disorder have the same symptoms and the same behaviors in the same situations, that means that the issue is bipolar disorder and not something personal. Let me ask you something. How many people with bipolar disorder go into the hospital? The answer is that a LOT of people with bipolar disorder go into the hospital. You know that, but do you still get down on yourself for needing a stay in the hospital? Do you still feel embarrassed? Do you feel like a failure? Why? Because society has taught you to feel that way, that's why! When was the last time you saw a clearly marked psych ward in the hospital? I never have. They treat us as though something terrible is behind those doors. We are so ashamed that we are scared to tell people where we have been. We feel hopeless and helpless. Well, I say it's time for a change.

If you have been in the hospital or if you are in the hospital now, good for you! It means you got help for your illness. It means you did not kill yourself. It means there are people in your life who love you and care about you. It means you are a survivor.

Have you been in the hospital a lot of times? So what! You are here now and you are a winner! You got help and you are still trying. Be proud! Be honest with people when they ask where you have been. Don't be ashamed to join the thousands and thousands of others who have been hospitalized with bipolar disorder. This takes such a huge burden off your shoulders. It is hard enough to have active bipolar disorder, we certainly don't need to feel ashamed about going to a hospital for help. We need to feel proud that we are taking care of ourselves. So the next time someone asks you why you had to take a few weeks off work, you can say, "I have an illness called bipolar disorder. I am usually fine, but sometimes I need extra help. I went into the hospital to get better. Would you like to know more about bipolar disorder? It would be great to get some help from you when I need it." Break the silence. Shatter the shame. You have an illness that often requires hospitalization. What is wrong with that?

Good luck!

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