Treating bipolar disorder can be really expensive. I wanted to create something that people could buy one time and then use for the rest of their lives. The Health Cards save so much money. They teach people to manage the illness on their own and how to ask for help from the people in their lives including doctors, friends and family members.

I'm also committed to helping people who are in difficult financial situations because of this illness. A portion of every order goes to a scholarship fund that then pays for discounted copies of the system for people who can't afford the one time price. I also send the download information for the Health Cards to teachers and social workers at a substantially reduced rate. Please visit the comments page to see more information on this offer. My goal is to get the Health Cards into our jail system as well. Over 2000 copies of the Health Cards for Bipolar Disorder have been given to people on disability in the past year.

Julie Fast
P.O. Box 86728
Portland, Oregon
97286

Make checks payable to Julie Fast. Please specify what products you would like to order and make sure to include your email address so that I can send you the download information.

I have learned from using the Health Cards that if I even have the thought, "I wonder if I'm manic?" that means I'm starting a manic phase. I simply don't have that thought unless I instinctively know the signs that a swing is starting. I also look at the response of the people around me. Are they telling me I'm acting differently? If yes, then I have to listen and get out my Health Cards. The other day I could tell I was a bit up and agitated and I told my mother, "Just leave me alone for a few days so I can calm down!" (I now know that this sentence is a symptom that I'm manic and agitated.) A few hours later she came in with my Health Cards and pointed out that I wrote I should listen to calming music when I'm up. I was playing Rage Against the Machine.( A very loud and stimulating band.) She helped me see that when I'm up, I tend to do things that make me more up and thus more ill.

So, if you ask yourself the question, I wonder if I'm manic, I would treat it as though you were starting a manic swing, get out the Health Cards and get to work on the What I Can Do column. You body is sending you a message and you have to listen and get in on that little window of opportunity before it's too late.

1. From the first sign of the anger I remind myself that this anger is not acceptable and that I have no right to take it out on others or on inanimate objects- in other words no picking fights and no kicking or punching things that upset me.
   
2. I use the Health Cards to write down all of the signs of an anger swing and then I memorize the signs so that I'm not caught unawares and end up picking a fight - and it feels really good to pick a fight when I'm in an anger swing, so it's important to learn how to stop these swings.
   
3. I have taught myself to listen for the first thing I say or do when I'm starting a swing. Usually the anger starts with mild irritation with people and I have the very strong thought, "I wish you would just shut up!" Now I see this thought as a sign that instead of continuing on with my day, it's time for me to work on this anger issue before I do something I will regret.
   
4. I then use the ideas in the Health Cards to help me stop the swing. This usually involves removing myself from the situation and just acknowledging that I'm starting a swing and that I need to breathe and really change my path. I have to look at what triggered the anger and do something about the trigger. I have to stay away from caffeine and stimulating foods as well as stimulating places, music, people and especially driving until I can get a handle on my emotions.
   
5. I educated everyone in my life that my anger is not acceptable. I then gave them the Health Cards so that they could learn how to respond to me when I get angry and aggressive. Believe me, having someone say, "Julie, this anger isn't acceptable and I'm leaving until you cool down," certainly gets my attention and has really helped my relationships.

I now know that my anger and irritation swings are completely related to being over stimulated. It's as though I'm a pot of water that suddenly boils over - too much hot water in the pot! I now see irritation and anger as a sign that I need to drastically cut back on what I'm doing and that I have to examine my current life style. I am obviously doing too much and need to take a break from all my activities.

I'm learning that some things trigger anxiety and some things exacerbate anxiety. It I stop the triggers, I don't have to watch the exacerbators (such as food)as much. In other words, a trigger for my anxiety is taking on too much work. If I do this, there is no way I can enjoy a decaf-latte. But if I keep the triggers to a minimum, I am able to enjoy a visit to the coffee shop in moderation. The secret is to identify the triggers and STOP them so that you can enjoy the little things in life such as coffee, chocolate, spicy foods and an evening with friends.

Regarding medications: Sometimes I have severe anxiety and have to have outside help. I have found that I often have panic attacks while driving somewhere new or when I have a deadline for a project. I had a lot of anxiety for the final months of writing my new book. There were deadlines at the publishing company and I had to work closely with editors. I've learned that panic attacks and anxiety are always caused by taking on too much during the day, but the symptoms are real which means I need help in the moment. I use Rescue Remedy as a first choice. (This is explained on the links page.) And finally, if all of my holistic treatments are not enough,I take an anti anxiety medication called Ativan. It works, but as will all medications, I have some severe side effects. This is why I prefer to deal with anxiety naturally by trying to prevent it. I use the Health Cards to organize my treatment options and give them to my family members so that they can know how to help me when I have the first signs of anxiety.

Prevention is the best solution for me. My anxiety card in my Health Cards helps a lot. I have found that my anxiety is 90% situational- which means I have a lot more control over it than I originally thought - which means that you do too.

My goal is to educated doctors and people with bipolar disorder that medications with excessive side effects and medications that only take care of part of the problem - which means that we are then left with 50% of our symptoms - is not an acceptable treatment plan. And adding more and more medications to those that only work slightly is detrimental to our health. I say that if you can take medications with limited side effects and still lead a relatively normal to normal life, then stay on them and get on with your life. But if you take medications and have terrible side effects and still feel sick most of the day, it's time to talk to your doctor about alternative and supplemental treatments. I do feel that we have all have become way too quick in putting these medications in our bodies - especially the experimental drugs that may make us much more ill than the illness itself. I personally was much more ill on the 23+ drugs I tried than when I was untreated - but I have Bipolar II and don't have extreme and very dangerous manic episodes - which means I wasn't on the medications in order to keep me out of the hospital. Also, if you have young children on these adult medications, you have to do some serious thinking about the future physical health of your child.

As I say in Bipolar Happens!, if a doctor said to you, "Take this pill it MAY help your symptoms and by the way it may ruin your liver, cause you to gain 30 pounds, make you sleep 14 hours a day and take away your sex drive," would you take it without looking for alternatives? I did that. And I was a mess. Then one day I started researching these medications and what they were doing to my body. I also questioned my entire doctor patient relationship. I realized that the first psychiatrist I worked with had one goal and that was to get me stabilized on medications and she had to do this in one 20 minute appointment a week. When a medication made me yawn uncontrollably and actually made me pass out drooling on my couch, she would say, "You just have to give your body time to get used to the medications." I am sorry, but THAT IS BS! What I needed was a medication that worked that didn't make me a mess. What I needed was some information on alternative treatments and suggestions on how to find the right balance of medications, diet and behavior therapy. Instead I was told to try yet another drug, a few of which made me very suicidal. We as people with bipolar disorder along with our friends and family members need to educate ourselves on how to find a balance between medications that save lives and alternative treatments that enhance quality of life.

I believe that the patient/doctor relationship is very important and life saving, but not if it's the typical master/servant relationship that many people have with their doctors today. Who is paying whom? Why are you there? To get help on how to get better. Not just to take another pill and then be shooed out the door because the doctor is running late and the next patient is waiting. We need so much more than that when we're ill. Please know that I'm not against doctors. I'm just trying to teach people that we have the right to ask for more help if what we are getting is not enough. I suggest you make it your goal to have a relationship with your doctor where he or she is supportive of your trying to combine medications with alternative treatments. This kind of relationship supports healing. My third psychiatrist in Seattle, Dr. Steven Juergens was always supportive of my desire to treat myself holistically. When I had an appointment, I knew that I would have his full attention and support. He's one of the reasons I was able to get better. How is your relationship with your doctor? If you have a young child with bipolar disorder, do you feel that you and the child's doctor are a team?

I would love to take medications. If one came out tomorrow that worked for me with a minimum of side effects, I would be first in line. But my body can't tolerate the medications we have today. Hair loss, broken teeth, a fifty pound weight gain, hot flashes, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, excessive anger and rapid cycling just don't seem worth it. I recently received a letter from a woman who thought she had colon cancer. The doctors went in for a biopsy and instead found a serious case of hemorrhoids. She had no idea why she would have such a terrible case of hemorrhoids and then she thought to look at her medication side effects more closely and sure enough one said RARE: Bleeding hemorrhoids. I guess she was just one of the rare ones. But isn't one enough?

I know I sound a bit harsh, but the truth is that we have become trained monkeys when it comes to listening to doctors. People with bipolar disorder need medications and should stay on them. My point is that we have to fight to find the right medications with the least amount of side effects and then we all have to find alternative treatments that help supplement these medications so we can live life to the fullest. Medications are important, but so is quality of life. So when your doctor gives you a new medication and says, come back in a month and tell me how you are- you can say: "Thanks for the medications doctor. Now, how can we work together to improve my quality of life?"

Medications take care of symptoms- not the behaviors that cause the symptoms. It makes sense that if we learn the behaviors that trigger our mood swings - the behaviors trigger the changes in our neurotransmitters- we will then be able to stop the triggers and stop the mood swings. Then the medications can take care of what is left over. This means less medications, less side effects and more quality of life.

The good news is that many people can take medications without serious side effects and if you are one of them, that is great. It means you have a solid foundation for starting a holistic treatment program.

Zyprexa is also a very strong drug. He may be on too high a dose. This is something to discuss with his doctor. There are other neuroleptics he can try that might not zap his energy as much.

Remember, I'm not a doctor, so this is just an opinion, but one of the main problems with the treatment of bipolar disorder is that every person is treated the same. The same medications and the same 20 minute appointment once a week. I suggest that you talk with your son and that you both go see his doctor and say that these side effects are not acceptable. The doctor may say - "just give it time"- but you have to be firm. This is about healing, not about being too drugged to enjoy life. The tips in Bipolar Happens! and The Health Cards will help you with this process.

There are many drugs out there that work and it's up to you and your son to ask for them. We have to educate our doctors that quality of life is just as important as preventing mood swings. There can be a balance if we treat this illness holistically. A great way to help with this problem is to focus on diet and exercise in order to combat the side effects until he finds medications that work and don't zap all of his energy.

Your son can definitely use the Health Cards - they work for all ages. Parents can work with the child to fill out the cards. The cards are a great treatment system because they help children see that they're not bad or wrong or impossible, they simply have an illness that needs treatment. The cards are especially useful in school and social situations. The cards will help your son see that he really can have a lot of input into his treatment plan. He will learn that he plays a big role in his own healing.

If you are a parent with a young child who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, please think very carefully about the treatments your child receives. It's ok for you to do research and ask as many questions as you need to ask. Does your child really have the signs of bipolar disorder as listed in the DSMIV? (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM-IV)or is your child difficult to diagnose and given the bipolar label because he or she has some of the symptoms? You are the parent. You are the number one protector of your child. Educate yourself and make decisions based on what your child and your family need in order to find stability and health. Create a health care team that includes your child's psychiatrist, therapist, naturopath, teacher, friends, family and you.

Of course I understand that many children really do have all the signs of bipolar disorder. Medications can work miracles for these children if they're in the right dose and have limited side effects, but as I've said many times, medications can often do as much harm as good and if you are a parent with a child on these medications it's your right and obligation to find out everything about these medications and to look for alternative treatments if they can help the child without terrible side effects.

It's up to parents to find doctors and other health care professionals who are willing to try anything that might help a family deal with an out of control child. This includes massage, herbs, group classes such as tai chi or yoga, diet changes, and of course medications that help without also harming the child. I also feel doctors should be carefully chosen. Why should we accept the first doctor that comes along? We do not do that with cars or even vegetables in the store. We should not blindly accept medications either. Parents must educate themselves holistically.

We as adults with the illness and parents with children with this illness also have to start educating our health care professionals on what we need, not what they think we need. It has to be team work.

Regarding anger and medications, you bet the medications can cause anger. I was so full of rage and anger on Wellbutrin, for example, that I thought of ramming my car into a pole and constantly had the compulsion to hit and kick things. I was a mess and if your child is on a medication that you feel may be causing anger, it's time to see his or her doctor and ask for help in changing the medication. Remember, going off a medication can cause side effects as well - so do this with a doctor's knowledge and help. But you have every right to ask for new medications if you can tell that the medications are causing anger and violence in your child.

Overall, you as a parent can play such an important and healing role in your child's health. Don't make the doctors first in the equation. They are a very important part of your team, but you are your child's most important advocate.

Do I think a relationship can be happy and healthy if someone has untreated bipolar disorder? No, absolutely not. Relationships and untreated bipolar disorder simply don't mix. There will be crisis after crisis and it's no environment for a couple to thrive.(And it certainly is no environment for children.) One member may be the caretaker and one will be the patient- or it becomes a mother/father - son/daughter relationship. It's amazing to me what dysfunctional practices can become normal in a relationship when a partner has an untreated illness.

Even when a couple works hard to stay healthy, a healthy relationship will take a lot of preparation and will have its ups and downs, but ultimately it's worth it. It's up to you to decide what is healthy and what is acceptable. Both of you will have to make a lot of concessions at first, but it gets easier as you learn a routine and stick to it. This is such an important question I just spend a year writing a book on the topic.

Here is how I would use Bipolar Happens! and the Health Cards with him. First, I suggest that you read the book because it will give you some insight into why he will not get help. This is a terribly tricky illness. I assure you, your husband is not acting the way he is acting because he wants to. The illness is telling him to act this way. I know because I lived it for 18 years. I would give the book to him and say, "This was written by someone who had no idea that she had bipolar disorder. Would you read this and see if what she writes sounds familiar to you?" That is all you ask him to do. That is an easy step and he may go for it.

The Health Cards are a treatment tool. There are pages and pages of symptoms in the Health Cards. I suggest that you read through them and then give them to your husband with the same suggestion - to look through them and highlight any symptoms he has in common. This is another way for him to see he's not alone and that he has an illness that needs treatment. The cards will also help you learn how to help him.

Of course this all assumes that he's stable enough to take the suggestions. If he's in a serious mood swing right now, you won't be able to communicate with him very well. The illness will be doing all the talking for him.

You're in a tough situation, but you asked for help so I'm going to be blunt. You and your little girl can't have a normal life if you're living with someone with untreated bipolar disorder. Period. Untreated, it's an illness that doesn't allow for happy relationships. If it's treated and he's willing to join you and help himself, there is a LOT of hope for your relationship.

I want to let you know that everything you describe about your husband is normal and very familiar to me. That is the illness acting, not him. If you know the real person inside of him and you want to be with that person, then don't give up on him totally. Use the tools in the book and cards and learn how to deal with him. He needs your help right now. Getting fired from a job is a sign that he's not well. I don't want you to think that you have to stay with him to help him. I don't mean that. I just mean that in whatever way you can, try to help him. This may mean that you will do it from a different location, but he needs someone to watch over him and get him in the hospital if it goes too far.

Regarding the hospital: You need to know the laws in your state or country. In Washington State for example, you can only put him in the hospital if he is a danger to himself or others. Here is the web address for NAMI (national alliance for the mentally ill) - use this to search for your local NAMI office. They can answer your questions about your legal rights:

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?section=Find_Support

The country you live in will determine what rights you have as a partner of someone with a mental illness. If you live outside the United States, look for your local mental health clinic and ask for advice on where to go.

Yes, this is a huge burden for you. I know how it feels and it's not fair, but you have a daughter and he's her father. If you can somehow get him to see that he needs help, there is a good chance he can have a normal life. Your daughter needs a healthy father, not one with an untreated illness.

I often tell people that they have to know their limits. As a partner and mother, you have to decide when enough is enough. It's something you have to decide for yourself. But I would like to encourage you to have hope. He may come around and see that he needs help. It's worth trying all that you can for the sake of your daughter. But it's also very important that you know when it's time to leave. My new book for couples addresses all of these issues in detail. It will be in bookstores in February of 2004.

Until my book for couples comes out, I suggest you use the books on this web site to give you some insight into why your partner acts the way she does. She really isn't doing something TO you. She can't help her behavior if she's under the influence of bipolar disorder mood swings. The problem is not your relationship- it's the bipolar disorder and that is why I tell couples they have to treat bipolar disorder first if they want to have a stable relationship.

The Health Cards are a treatment plan. They will work for your depression as well. They teach people with bipolar disorder how to manage each symptom holistically.

My relationships have been hard because of this illness as well. I often lost all loving feelings and could be cruel to the people I loved. Deep down I knew this was wrong, but the illness was in control and I couldn't stop it. Or I thought I couldn't. Now I know I can totally stop this behavior. I can feel love again and I can have good, normal relationships. The secret is to treat the bipolar disorder first. If I can get rid of the bipolar behavior, I can have a more normal life. I know your partner can do the same thing. There is hope. She just needs the tools and you need to learn how to help her. Don't give up - just get the tools.

Right now the bipolar disorder is talking for him. When you see him in the hospital, try to remember that. This is not the time to talk about life or your relationship. He will start to come around once the medications start to work. You will know when your real husband has returned. You will walk in one day and he will just be there. There is an article on this web site on how to talk to an ill person.

It's so important for people in your situation to know that every single thing he says right now is NOT REAL. I mean that. You know who he is and you know he loves you. Right now he's sick and he needs you to just be there and help him get better. When he says you're ruining his life, you can say, "Well, if I were in your place I would feel the same. Bipolar disorder makes you think like this and I understand." It's hard for him to fight with that. Of course he probably doesn't think he has the illness, - that's just another symptom of the illness. It's really twisted pretzel logic, isn't it. But every time you talk with him you have to remember that the odd things he says aren't real. They are bipolar disorder and you can never have a conversation with bipolar disorder. It will always win. Instead, learn how to respond to him in a way that doesn't let the conversation get out of hand.

The hospital section of this website has more information. The letter from Erin is particularly helpful.

It sounds like the medications may have sent your partner into a manic episode- or he was heading for one already. I think it's important for you to know that what you are going through right now is totally normal and sounds very familiar to me. The hospital is the best place for him right now. The most important thing for you to do is to make sure he stays there long enough. I made the mistake of missing Ivan so much I let him come home way too early.

I suggest that you get the book Bipolar Happens! and the Health Cards from the web site so that you can be ready with some tools for when he comes home. The book will help you see what he's going through- he can read it when he gets better. There's no way he can read it now, though. This is a time for you to create a treatment plan - he can get involved when he is more stable.

When Ivan came home from the hospital we had no help - just a bag of pills and a number for a psychiatrist. When I was diagnosed a year later, I got the same treatment. You will need more than that. You will need a plan. The Health Cards can give you that plan.

Here is the good news. Your partner can get better. I promise. He can come back to you and be himself again. It will take a year at least for him to come to terms with this hospitalization and what it really means for him to have this illness. You can help him by learning to respond to his mood swings instead of reacting to them. That is what I teach in my books. Believe me- everything changes when you hear you have a life long illness. You have to learn to set different goals and different dreams - but it can be done.

Your partner will need a lot of help when he comes home. Try to recreate the pattern of the hospital as much as possible. He needs to be under stimulated for at least a few months after he gets out.

This is the time for you to prepare for the future. Learn about the medications he is on and their side effects. Think about the diet, exercise and life style changes you can make to make things easier for you both. (The Health Cards talk about this a lot.) And don't lose hope. You are in a difficult, sad and stressful situation, but not an impossible one. I and many others have been through it and our partners are now healthy and happy again. You can have that too.

I believe that psychotic thoughts are often under treated - you will see on the Health Cards that I really focus on psychosis and paranoia. They are too dangerous to ignore. I have learned to stop psychotic episodes from getting out of hand. The cards will help you both with this. It's normal if she comes home with a few psychotic thoughts. If these don't diminish, you need to call her doctor.

Keep up a dialogue with her doctor and help her ease into her old life. Ask her what she needs and how you can help her adjust. It will help so much if you understand that she needs time to get back to her old self. And finally, just give her time to get better. Do not ask her what she plans