Reaching a dream

I gave a talk for a very large crowd this weekend.  It was such a great experience- and I am very aware that a few years ago it was an experience that would have been too stressful for me to even contemplate.  But after years of work, I am now well enough to reach a dream- to help people who are in crisis by talking to them in a live setting.

I did all that I needed to do to stay well. My trusted business partner Sheri went with me- she helped with all of the set up. My hosts did all of the preparation for the talk. I made sure I got enough sleep the night before-  and I had a plan ready for how I would feel after the talk.

 In the past, the paranoia would have started as soon as I got off the stage. Yes, that soon! I take care of a lot of this by telling the audience that I will get paranoid- this gives them an idea of what a person with bipolar goes through as well as giving me a reminder that paranoia is normal for me- I don’t have to believe it.

It also makes everyone laugh.

Once the speech was done- I followed my own rules and said to myself, “Great job Julie. I am so proud of you. You did a great job.” and that was that. No second guessing and no self flagellating. This is a huge change for me. I’ve worked hard on it.

I went to a new location and gave a big presentation without having  mood swings. all right!


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